Umm yeah... Working??

What next??

2009-11-03T16:39:00.000-08:00

Well I'm not sure if anyone is reading this anymore. Not that I blame them as I haven't posted since febuary and its now November. I really haven't been doing anything to remarkable. I'm working again, at a coffee shop, and trying to figure out the next move. I still have no clue what to do with myself. The only solid idea that has come to mind is to get my welding certifactes and make something resembling real money. But even this isn't the most exciting idea and I'm having a hard time lighting a fire under my ass to go and do it. So it seems I'll be on this path of indolence for a bit longer. Sorry this isn't more upbeat but I'm still pretty lost. I had no idea that what I did was such a huge part of me.

Brick Walls Hurt

2009-02-12T14:55:00.000-08:00

So my life hit another brick wall. I lost my job rather unexpectedly in January. Literally I had the worst work week ever and watched everything I touched blow up in my face. And I mean everything from a shopping basket to the company van. And my overextend tried, frustrated boss decided that this on top of a lack luster season on my part, was grounds for firing. Never mind that I showed up on time ready to work and never pretended that I was anything but what I am he still decided to let me go before my contract was up. Luckily between severance pay and tax returns I'm gonna be able to make ends meet this month. Next is another story.
Its intensely frustrating because for the first time in my life I felt like I had a little stability and finally some money. I know to most people what I made was paltry but to me I felt I was living to good life. I could pay my bills and afford to have fun. Going out was not the choice between socialization and food. I was finally getting a life outside of this business and now I'm just floundering.
The people I know in Atlanta have been really good to me but still they have there own worries and I'm just floating trying to make it work.
And I'm wondering if this is what I even need to be doing. I'm okay at it and I've never felt that its my gift. In some ways I always feel like a charlatan like I was faking it and waiting for my house of cards to fall down on me. So I'm contemplating getting out. At the same moment I've applied for some jobs in this world as its where I have a developed skill set and right now trying to go in to anything at an entry level is not easy.
I have decided to stay in Atlanta as long as I can. I have lease until the end of July I want to do all I can to honor that. But I'm not sure I can. Its crazy how everything can change with no warning at. I'm keeping myself together applying for everything I can and mending my metaphorical bones.

Hustling for a living

2008-12-28T15:39:00.000-08:00

Hey all-
I'm not sure if any of y'all are still checking this but I felt like I mind as well give everyone an update. I'm still down in Atlanta and for the most part enjoying it. Becoming a local music junkie has been a fun exprience so far but now I need to buckle back down. I know my contract is up in April and I have to start job hunting to find something for the summer. I don't know if I have the contract for next season but I'm hoepful. But at the same moment I'm trying to be prepared for the just in case moment. Its been nice being able to pay bills etc. and I would like to be able to keep doing that. I'm hoping to find summer work in town but I know that it is extremly limited. I have toyed with the idea of just getting a regular job, but I'm addict to this bussness and I'm now gearing up to send out letters and resumes again. I just wonder when I will stop having to hustle for a living. Part of me just wants a year round job, year in year out but I know how bored I get with even 9 months in one place.
I know that right now the reason I feel this way is mainly due to the fact I've hit my five month itch. I've found that I'm the most disasitfied with my life in any given place when I've been there for about 5 months. I know that once I get past this I'll be pretty happy again.
Well that's all for now. I hope y'all are doing well where ever you are. Take care. More later.
Chris

So long time no post.

2008-08-03T10:08:00.000-07:00

Hi all-
I just realized that its been forever since you all heard from me. My life has been a little crazy but it has finally settled down and I'm settling into my thrid town this year. I now live in Atlanta and I find myself falling in love with the city and with the neighborhood I now live in. I'm working for the Alliance theatre and I'm still a little overwhelmed by the rescourcres available to me. Its been an interesting first couple of weeks. My boss and I are learning how to communicate and that has proven to be a little frustrating. Mainly this is due to the fact that Kathleen ( my boss in Alaska) and I were able to figure this out really fast and that Nik (my boss in Utah) and I had worked together for a couple of summers and knew what the other wanted. So now with Robert, my new boss, I'm really being forced to listen and take a lot more notes. We're both working on this and I have faith we'll have a system figured out soon. He's a nice guy, I just need to be patient to not interrupt him when he's pausing. But still my co-workers in the props shop are pretty great and I get along well with most of the carpenters. All in all I like my job and I like being able to pay my bills.

My apartment is in this neighborhood between two really great neighborhood, the Virgina Highlands and Little Five Points. For those of you who know Milwaukee, the Virgina Highlands are like a less pretentious version of Wauwatosa ( shesh I see why everyone just writes Tosa) and Little Five Points is like the East Side between Brady Street and North Ave. And for those of you more familiar with Chicago, Virginia Highlands is like Evanston and Little Five Points is like the area around Clark and Belmont. My place is within an easy walk to 7 restaurants, a Grocery Store, A coffee shop (where I'm writing this), 3 bars and some good shopping oh and a great independent Video rental place. So there enough stuff that I can walk to that my car ( sadly not Fred, she's a blue Neon and I think her name is Vivian) can sit happily on the street not costing me tons in gas money. All in all I like here and I think I'll be happy to call this place home.

leaving

2008-05-12T21:28:00.000-07:00

This just sums it up better than I could. Its fits packing up a life.

"If I Ever Leave This World Alive"

If I ever leave this world alive
I'll thank for all the things you did in my life
If I ever leave this world alive
I'll come back down and sit beside your
feet tonight
Wherever I am you'll always be
More than just a memory
If I ever leave this world alive

If I ever leave this world alive
I'll take on all the sadness
That I left behind
If I ever leave this world alive
The madness that you feel will soon subside
So in a word don't shed a tear
I'll be here when it all gets weird
If I ever leave this world alive

So when in doubt just call my name
Just before you go insane
If I ever leave this world
Hey I may never leave this world
But if I ever leave this world alive

She says I'm okay; I'm alright,
Though you have gone from my life
You said that it would,
Now everything should be all right

She says I'm okay; I'm alright,
Though you have gone from my life
You said that it would,
Now everything should be all right
Yeah should be alright

The Northern Lights or Why I'm in Love

2008-03-27T01:18:00.000-07:00

There is something soo indescribable about the Northern Lights. After watching them tonight I find that words fail me and that as I watched them I had no frame of reference to place them in. They were beautiful, unworldly, awe inspiring and amazing. And that fail to strach the surface. To truly begin to understand them, you have to see them. And I think that sums up this place. Now that the light has returned I have never been so greatful to be somewhere in the morning. Its a town that gentlely sucks you. One moment your an outsider and the next you know half the people on the street. And presents you with the weridest friendliest assortment of oddballs you've ever met. The utter lack of pretense is amazing. There is something to be said for a town where shit brown rain boots (xtra-tuffs) are considered acceptable with formal wear. Trust me you see it. Its a place where people are who they are and if you don't like it well then tough shit. And its a place that slowly changes you. It is a place that I will leave with a heavy heart, but I'll be back and it'll be like coming home.

Break... I was going to take a break?

2008-03-11T18:44:00.000-07:00

Well my life is topsy tuvry as always. Just when I thought a break was a good idea, I changed my mind. I'm going to Utah this summer, which will be good. As much as there are things that annoy me about that place at least I'm kept out of the adminstrative bullshit. I make props. That's it. I don't have to concerned about other things there. THey understand I'm contract labor and though I care about the place I'm not asked on how to solve problems that are quite frankly way over my head, or to help put in place plans for after I've left. Its understood that I will leave in August and maybe I'll come back and maybe I won't. And I appricate that.

I'm also going to be sending out stuff for some upcoming jobs that I can't pass up. 2 of them are full time with benifits and one is 3/4 time but is at a University. All are for Artisans. I've never seen this many props jobs that are full time open up at once. Maybe, maybe next year I can finally start to realize my dream of making a nest at a regional theatre.

But then of course to complicate my plans, I've decided I want to go to grad school. Since I want to major in props, there are really only 4 choices: University of Delaware, North Carolina School of the Arts, CalArts and the Royal Academy of Dramatic Arts. Hmmmmm... which one does Chris want to go to? The one that is of course the furthest from home and the most expensive, the Royal Academy of Dramatic Arts. I need to do more research into the program but it would allow me to live in London again. Plus I need to see if I can find the money. I'm not planning on this happening for several years if at all but it gives me something to strive for. I've been looking for that long term goal for awhile now, and this seems to fit in away that finding a steady job just doesn't. As always we'll see what happens.

Change of Pace

2008-02-21T01:51:00.000-08:00

Things are well things. Which means things are alturnatly euphoric and intensly frustrating. And I find myself asking if I should even be in this field. I'm okay at my job, but not exceptional, not great. I'm passable, okay. But not great. I'm not even sure if I'm good. And I keep moving and I'm becoming sick of it. I want to stay put. But I am also questioning if this is what I should be doing with my life and if it is not then it begs the question, what the hell I should be doing with my life. And it makes me ask what am I good at. And in the end I don't know. I don't think I'll be leaving theatre perminantly, but I do feel I need the break. At least now during all the chaos.

Vindictive Bitchness or how to get even with out even trying

2008-01-12T02:33:00.000-08:00

So today I found out one of my roommates loathes me. How may you ask. The wonders of the Internet. My Space bulletins to specific. Obviously he wants me to know but lacks the testicular fortitude to tell me. And at first it hurt. A lot. And then I got angry and then I laughed my ass off. Because the thing he apparently loathes is me. As a human being. My attitude, my way of dealing with world everything.

Apparently he thinks the opposite of like is dislike. Which in my experience is not true. Apathy or ambivalence is the opposite liking someone. Because you can't affect them at all. He handed me a whole shit ton of power with the knowledge that I don't even need to be present to drive him nuts. And honestly save today I really don't think about him that much. Yes I would've liked to get to know him as we live together, but that is mainly because we live together. Not any other reason. But now, now I can get out all of the sheer bitchiness that I've spent this summer storing up. And the best part is I don't even have to try. I just have to be present and say good morning. And sit back and know it drives him up a fucking wall. And the best part is that he doesn't expect this. In fact he'll expect that I'll try harder now that I know he dislikes me intensely. The funny part is that he thinks I'm sad and pathetic. But really I find it sad and pathetic that he blogged about the fact that I drive him nuts. Twice.

If your miserable don't blame me sweetie. I'm not responsible for your misery. You are and guess what, me being here and myself does not take the onus off of you to change your situation. Unless you enjoy being miserable. Which if you do that might take some of the fun out of this. Yes the fact that we aren't chums would bother me occasionally but not enough to write about it or dwell on it. Until now. Until you handed me a way to vent a few things with giving anyone else a reason to be pissed at me, or lifting a damn finger.

And I'm just going to sit on the couch watching my presence drive him insane and laugh. Because I get to enjoy being bitchy with out a. having to put forth effort, and b. feeling guilty. Is this a little passive aggressive, you bet your sweet ass it is, but I learned at the masters knee this summer.

So I get an outlet and he goes nuts. Which let's face it is what the vengeful bitch in me wants. And really I don't feel a strong compulsion to keep her in. Maybe on short lease otherwise his laundry may ended up in the creek behind our house. Under the ice.

Yes I know this is an uglier side to me. But I refuse to change. And I'm not going to feel bad about sitting in my living room. So I might as well enjoy it.

On the Floor at the Great Divide/ With my shirt tucked in and my shoes untied

2007-12-20T03:16:00.000-08:00

I figured you all needed an I'm not dead post. Things are well here. We just opened our 2nd show last week so its slow right now. Its odd I hated the schdule at my last job, but I'm finding the pace here to be a little. The upside was that I got to leave Juneau for a short bit and exprince "real Alaska" in Haines. Which was something I was not quite prepared for. I thought Juneau was isolated and small, but it now feels like a bustling city. Don't get me wrong I enjoyed Haines, it was beautiful and the people I was visiting were awsome but I just realized I didn't really understand what small town meant. Parts of me liked it. There is a certian comfort in knowing almost everyone you see. Knowing where they fit in your life and where you fit in there. And there is a certian niceness in the civility that seemed to flow out of that. But I knew I was not going to be able to wrap my head around that place. I the moment I think I figured that out was when I was explaining where I grew up. I kept calling it the village cause that what Morton Grove is organized as. I kept saying how small it was. When I was asked the population I replied with out even thinking that it was 24,000. You should of seen the look I got. I then had to explain that compared to the towns around us that we were small. I still got an incredoulous look and explaination of how they could not imagine living somewhere so big. And after 2 days I could see how it would be odd to live somewhere where everyone didn't know everyone else. If anything this place is truly challenging my perspective of the way the world is.

Other than its small size coulpled with isolation the increable thing about Haines is the location. If you've ever seen White Fang, welcome to where was shot. The moutiain shot up from the ground and were amazing. Unlike here they were all jagged peaks. I couldn't belive the scencery surrounding me. Covered in snow, evergreens bowing under the weight, moutains soaring and tree filled with eagles. It was interesting trip. A definate chance to examine the world around it and I percive it.

Darkness and too much downtime

2007-11-03T12:00:00.000-07:00

Hi all-
Greetings from the Northwoods. Things are going well here though life has seattled to point where I'm unused to it. I'm getting more than enough time off. That being said we haven't had a lot to do lately mainly cause we're just maintaining the current show. Now the designs are in and the director is getting here today and then its off to the races until December 12th when it slows down again, until we have to get the next show started sometime late in December. I've been thoroughly enjoying my free time until this past week. Now I'm ready to work again. I came up here to work and though that's what spent my first 4 weeks doing but these last 3 have been just pissy shit. I've been paid and I can't complain too much, but I want to get cooking again. I know this show will have some fantastic portfolio pieces and some great learning opportunities.
The thing that's getting to me is the fact that at 6:00 its almost dark and by 7:00 its pitch outside. And it will slowly be getting darker earlier though with Daylight savings it will be very abrupt on Monday. Ah well. I'll get over it and through it and on with life. I hope all is well for everyone else. And I hope the dark isn't getting to you.
-Chris

Pictues ( Finally)

2007-10-13T18:37:00.001-07:00

Douglas Island where I work.
My back yard.

Downtown.
Out Thane.

So I promised pictures and I've been lacking in getting them out. So here they are.

Alaska

2007-09-19T23:10:00.000-07:00

Hi all-
I've made it here safe and sound. ANd its beaufitful. The housing is above the shop adn rehearsal hall and since its new its nice. I have my own room and shortly will get around to making it my own. I love the fact that the living room looks out on to two mountains and creek. Plus the shop is about the size of Point's with celings at about 25' or so which after 7'8" makes me happy. Things are a little crazy as we are in the middle of the biggest show of the season, but even with that, I was out of work by 8 and had time to get groceries and get a beer downtown with the cast and writers. So I like it though its stressful for a lot of my college's right now. But still I'm in a good mood, after all the people that work here actually have a chance to meet people that live here. So all is well.

Fin

2007-08-31T15:30:00.000-07:00

I have to say its been a summer. I'm done with my job and I'm glad its over. Looking back on it it almost feels like an abusive realtionship. I was asked to hours well above and beyond what was safe and was basically torn down from the first show on. Plus it was a very passive agressive enivorment and I don't deal well with those. Where I'm from (meaning my family) a fight took 60 minutes. 20 to get good and pissed, 20 to scream at each other, and 20 to apolgize for being an ass and not seeing things from another point of view. I hate when things just fester under the surface and everyone pretends that things are fine. They aren't, but people were so unwilling to deal with them that they needed someone to take it out on and that was me. I wish I could say that last part was me being parnoid but when I have others pointing it out to me afarid that its not. So finally got out and I think I did it with some class. I finshed up Forum to the best of my ablites, helped out with the changeover and left with out a hail and farwell address from atop the run off table from the table saw.

I'm now up in North Sea which is on the east end of Long Island and I'm just happy to be away from that place. I've spent the last two days doing laundry, repacking and reading. And its been heaven. Hopefully I'll get some fishing in today and get to take a ton of pictures tomrrow. If they turn out well I'll post them. Hope everyone is doing well.
Chris

Resigning

2007-08-17T11:04:00.000-07:00

Well I finally hit my breaking point. I resigned yesterday. I belive I'll be here until Forum opens but honsetly I'd much rather leave now. I realized yesterday that staying on here was stupid, I'm miserable, not able to sleep and not able to keep food in my system when I have enough of an appitite to eat it. So I realized that I needed to do this for me. I'm not sure if I shot myself in the foot in terms of a career in theatre, but if this is the cost to me then its too high. I can't continue to hold myself together when there is no engery left. So for those of you in the Midwest I'll be home for a little bit. Hope everyone elses summers are going much better.
Chris

Holy Shit ... JUNE??

2007-06-17T10:17:00.000-07:00

So not only is today my birthday, which has been going quite well, I got my contract from Alaska and I found out that 1. I have 4 days to get there from Jersey, and 2. I'm employed until June 15!! Holy shit, that makes me a far happier person. Though it will make finding work next summer all the more interesting as a lot of places start in May. Still makes me happy.

Work wise things are fine. We've started Joseph and I think it should be good. The biggest changelle is going to be the goat that gets ripped apart. I start that this afternoon, wish me luck.

I'm not dead...yet

2007-06-11T13:55:00.000-07:00

Wow, ten days latter almost no sleep and about 10 pounds lighter we're going into tech for Millie> Holy shit, its been awhile since I've done something like this. Millie is about 75 of the way there and now its just getting details done. Which will happen tonight. No addtional set pieces, or big surprise props. So I'm happy. I didn't repeat the same mistakes as last though I did run into some new ones, which got dealt with and life moved on.
Speaking of life I find myself completely lacking one but I'm oddly okay with that. Mainly becuase people here on the tech staff make a concerted effort to keep a good attitude about things. I'll post some pictures from the summer at some point. Just wanted to let you all know I wasn't dead, yet :).

Salieri

2007-05-29T08:21:00.000-07:00

For those of you who know Amadeus you know who this character is. And that's who I feel like. Some one who wants to be great but can only seem to achive medicority. Every time I turned around in the last few days something didn't work or got fucked up cause I was trying to rush. I haven't been this frustraited since I left Point. Summer stock theatre and I aren't friends. I overwork myself in the wrong way cause it seems to be the way to do things here. Not the wrong way for other people but for me since I need to stop when I first hit the point of diminshing returns and not keep plowing through and continuiously fucking up because I'm tired and feeling rushed. I can't do this to myself the next show. That being said everything is here but some needs tweaking. I need to find the balence between building and managing which I've totally negleted in order get things done. I'm fried it shows and I'm not happy even though most things are working. I managed to bulid a fucking bauble pole for fuck's sake. Its made of hula hoops jute rope and a big fucking stick and it looks like Mardi Gras vomited all over it. Which is how it should look. But I'm tired and tech starts soon. Wish me luck.

Summer Stock without a Shop (Temperaorly)

2007-05-15T18:23:00.000-07:00

So I made it and I'm settled and ready to work. But I'm spining my wheels in the mud. I'm stuck wanting to get a space where I can work as our shop is literaly almost done so once it is its balls to the walls time. I'm trying to work around it and so far I've gotten my lists done and gathered up as many items as possible and tryed to start on as many problems as possible. I'm gonna be really fucking tired at the end of the season.

Jersey

2007-05-09T21:04:00.000-07:00

So I made it. In one piece with what I consider a minmal amount of shit ( a suitcase, rubbermaid (big), a bike and two tool boxes. And it in many ways is good to be here.
I'm currently adjusting back to the idea of real summer stock after getting spoiled in Logan. I'm also adjusting to living in the most densely populated state in the country. That being said I wasn't expecting almost the entire island to be devoloped. And it honsetly scares me. I think I'll be heading to the mainland once a week to just see some trees and a field. I've grown very used to the idea of wide open spaces except in cities. So I'll be adjusting and maybe learning how to surf. The sore throat medicince is kicking in so I'll write more tomrrow.

Because Stevens Point wasn't north enough...

2007-04-20T09:59:00.000-07:00

I'm moving to Alaska in September. I mananged to land this season long internship with a theatre up there as Props Inten. So I'm going to be living in Juneau working for Perseverence Theatre. Not only am I excited about the location ( any city with more hiking trails than roads is a great place) but the fact that this theatre is doing vital interesting theatre in a small city (Juneau is 30,000 people with no road acess). Some of the shows that they have done in the last year include Tommy, an orginal work about the Raven in native mythogly and Equs. They've in last 7 years they have also done HEdwig and Angels in America Millennium Approachs. So I'm looking forward to doing a good mix of stuff as well as getting to know this place.

Now I know I'm gonna get questions like "Chris you realize its gonna be colder and darker than WI, right?" Well sort of, it will be darker but not 3o days of Artic darkeness, I'm well south of the Artic circle so the earlist the sun sets there is around 3:00 pm which is earlier enough, but it won't be weeks of total night. And for the cold issue, since Juneau is located between the ocean and the moutians, I get to live in cooler wetter version of Oregon. There winters are in the 30s and 40s with rain and occsional snow. When it was 20 below in Wisconsin it was round 38 above in Juneau, which really made me want to relocate then and there. Rain will be interesting to deal with as Juneau is in a temperate rain forest so it gets a lot, somewhere in 100 inches are year mark so I'll have to get used to being a little damp. But yeah I'm moving to Alaska. :)
Nothing like having the family spread from Deva Romania, to Juneau Alaska. :)

1984

2007-04-14T23:25:00.000-07:00

I dragged my Mom out to our local Irish Pub where we were both plesantly surprised to find live music. We laughed as we both realized that Celtic music was about the only music that we could actually clap to.

Thinking on it, at least for me, it was some of the first music that I had listened to. Thistle and Shamrock was one of the few radio programs that I remembered. And there was a tape my mother made of one program, a tape my brother was born to, and I tape that I lost in 6th grade. We sat and talked and remembered a song called The Ferrybank Piper, to which we only knew the chorus. "So here's to the Ferrybank Piper, May his sad song never die, May his gay tune rasie your weary heart until in your grave you lie." We lamented the loss and the fact that we didn't know the actual name of the song or the artist.

We then got to talking about a song that was about growing up on the Clyde during World War II. My Mom had the lyrics somewhere, but they were on a unlocatable scrap of paper, if it had survied the move from Chicago, was buried in her closet or the basement. And memories of the lost music began to dance through my head, half remembered melodies, snippets of lyrics telling someone's story. Its increadble how music can stay with you.

So once we got home we started our hunt, horribly misspelling lyrics and song titles and trying to remember if this 30 second sample was the one that we had heard on that tape, or if it was another version of a much beloved song and we managed to find 6 of them, including The Ferrybank Piper,(which we misspelled as The Fairy Bank Piper) and Yonder Banks/Shipyard Appreintice.

We found them mainly by dumb luck, persuing the craziest possible route to them. And listening to these songs I began to cry, not tears of sadness, but maybe tears of something, the kind you get when you find something you once thought forever lost, in a snowy parking lot in Glenview, IL. Maybe nothing is truly ever lost, maybe its just hiding in a different place, the place where you almost give up hope of ever finding it again, like a lost tape from 1984.

One Last Hurdle

2007-03-29T19:24:00.000-07:00

I'm almost done with this show. 2 weeks of lousy sleep 3 nightmares and $240 bucks later the only thing that i have to worry about is how to get all this stuff to Lake Forest by Monday. And I belive I'm too young to rent a truck with out a shit ton of extra insurance. If I'm wrong please correct me.
I'm both looking forward to this Saturday and dreading it. it will be when I see if all my work pays off or i go to jail for invoultary manslaugher. It shouldn't be that bad. But we'll see.

Queen Bitch!

2007-03-23T16:03:00.000-07:00

I won that title for one day. I won it by getting an antique store to lend me a Wardrobe for the run of the show. I finally feel like I'm gonna make it through this show.
For those of you who don't know, I'm working on a show which is set in a Victorian bedroom and I have a budget of $200. And I've spent a little over half of it and still have most of the Props taken care of. So That is why I'm Queen Bitch.

Jersey Anyone??

2007-03-14T23:00:00.000-07:00

Well summer work has come through and I'm going to be working in Southern New Jersey for the summer on Long Beach Island. As a Props Master. Which makes me really happy but kinda nervous.
The show I'm working on right now is coming along quite well thanks to the fact that the costume designer literaly has a house full of period pieces that he has lent out before and is willing to lend me. My only huge furniture problem left is a wardrobe and bed table. Before the list went four poster bed, queen sized matress, sofa, makeup table ( which I own) peroid arm chairy type chair, stool ( have three options) and a very small budget. I think I'm gonna be okay. Which feels good. That and i know that I'm employed until September which is a huge load off my shoulders.

Socially I haven;t been up to too much. No wild affairs, or real wild nights. Save the night when Jenny slapped the shit out of an asshole that wouldn't leave us alone. It was truly hilarous. This idiot came up to us and within the first minutue was implying that we should provide him with certian services. So Jenny slapped him. He kept up the stupid remarks and she kept smacking him. What I found really interesting was the fact that the rest of the bar sided with the two of us even though this asshole was a regular. They kept telling him that you have to respect a lady or you get what's coming to you. I know this doesn't sound too funny but trust me it was.

Other than that not too much has happened. Life is moving and that's all I can ask of it.

Frustrations

2007-02-22T00:45:00.000-08:00

So long time no post. Basically because not too much is going on out here. I managed to land the last job I wrote about, but I'm having a hard time movtivating myself about it. Its an okay show but after the last I feel like its kinda hollow. That and I'm not sure how I feel about the company but hey work is work is work and I'm working so I shouldn't complain. Its just a huge chanllege to prop a show when the stock is non-existant, the budget is ridulously tight, and the show is period. We'll see how this one goes.
In other theatrically related news my last show, The Sparrow, has gotten its run extend until April which I think is amazingly cool. It was amazing to work on a show that really used all the poetinal of theatre to tell a story with out becoming masterbatory art. Its a good show and if you're in Chicago between now and April go see it. I belive its moving to Steppenwolf's garage theatre.
Well that's all for now but I wanted to let you all know what was up and that I was still alive.

Jerking my chain.

2007-01-24T12:01:00.000-08:00

Well it looks like I might not have the Props Master position after all. In the face of budget cuts they may be eliminating my postion. Which doesn't make me very happy. If you can't afford a Props Person don't look for one. So I'm a little grumpy at the moment. We'll see if I still have a job tomorrow.

Things are progressing in the right direction....

2007-01-22T14:44:00.000-08:00

I managed to land the Props Master gig. It's gonna be interesting as the budget is only $100 and I'm not quite sure what's going to be my problem. I think for the first time as a props person I'm going to be activly advocating the cutting of items from my list. Normally I'm like the more the merrier but since this a period show, I hoping to be able to sink my rescources into the items that are absolutly nesscary. Its another small theatre but hopefully this will help me to eventually be able to support myself through Theatre and not the various and asundry crap jobs that I do to keep money coming in.

If you can't fixing a toaster in 35 plus years, maybe you shouldn't own a Fix It Shop.

2007-01-17T09:49:00.000-08:00

SO last night my friend Jenny told me about how she noticed a disturbing thing on Sesame Street. Maria and Luis had been fixing the same toaster for several weeks. I searched through my recolections of the show and I realized that in all my memories of the aforementioned fix it shop were of Maria and Luis fixing that toaster or maybe the occsional radio. If this is all you can fix can you really run a fix it shop?

It got me asking questions about myself. I can do props and I can do them well but can I make it in the field just based on that skill, or do I need to diversify my skills? Its a question I'll be pondering as I work on finding my place in this industry. I'm not giving up just trying to improve my chances of making this work.

And it seems to be starting to work. I just finshed a job in Chicago for the House Theatre. It was a new work that was being written as the rehearsal progressed. It was about a telkentic girl returning to her home town to tell them her secert. The show asks a lot of the design with multiple locations, minmal budget and an ASM as run crew. Yet it flows well and the changes work with the actors carrying on the desks or lockers and making seem as if this is what happens when you go to class. It has been a joy to work on and I'm sad to see it go.

And hopefully I'll be working as a Props Master up in Lake Forest,IL, which for me would be huge considering its the first time that I've prop mastered. So I'm hopeful.

I can tell you we swaggered and swayed, Deep in the tower, the Praires below, I can tellyou, the telling gets old...

2006-12-31T18:13:00.000-08:00

So I'm a survey stealing bitch. Sorry Amanda but I wanted to.

*End of the Year 2006 Survey*
In 2006...
Did you do something you would never do?:	Where do you want to start? I think the four states in one year thing. And working for the Goodman.
Did you keep any New Year's Resolutions?:	No, I just hope I keep my life interesting.
Did anyone close to you give birth?:	Thankfully not this year.
Did anyone close to you die?:	I lost my Papa.
Did you visit any countries?:	Nope just my own.
What would you like to have in 2007 that you lacked in 2006?:	Some stablity and my own apartment.
Will any date from 2006 stay etached in your memory forever?:	There are quite a few. Driving in Eastern Oregon. Sitting in Logan Cayon after the pirate party watching the sun come up. Watching my Papa die. Which was oddly peaceful.
What was your biggest achievment of 2006?:	Staying employed in theatre since May. I'm pretty fucking proud of that.
What was your biggest failure?:	Not being independant. So moving back home.
Did you suffer illness or injury?:	Not really. Nothing beyond the usual straches, bumps, bruises and burns.
What was the best thing you bought in '06?:	Confidence in me. I realsied that if I want something I normally find away to make it happen.
Did your behavoir change over the year?:	Yes. I finally feel like an adult.
Where did you spend most of your money?:	Books, food and travel.
Are you happier than this time last year?:	I don't know. I'm more comfortable with myself as a human being but not necessarily with my situation.
What song will remind you of 2006?:	Samson by Regina Spektor
What do you wish you would have done more of?:	I'm not sure, made some more money so I wasn't living at home.
What do you wish you would have done less of?:	Nothing really.
What did/will you do for Christmas '06?:	Hung out with family and smoked a hookah with my mom, my brothers and my brother's girlfriend.
Did you fall in love in 2006?:	Yes
Did you get your heart broken in 2006?:	Yes
Favorite TV program of '06?:	Mythbusters, or Deadilest Catch
Do you hate anyone now that you didnt hate this time last year?:	Nope
What was the best book you read and/or movie you saw?:	Hmmm... The Baroque Cycle was really good as was The Amazing Adventures of Kaviler and Clay. Move wise Brokeback Moutian, V for Vendetta.
What was your greatest discovery?:	That I'm not as bad looking as I think I am and I'm a horrible flirt
What did you do on your birthday and how old were you?:	I hung out in the Moutians and I was 23. Oh and I got quite drunk on Alabama Slammmers. Really Drunk.
What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?:	Settling somewhere even though I like my nomadic lifestyle.
How would you describe your personal fashion concept of 2006?:	Dresser than the past. More put together.
Friends
Who was the best new person you met?:	Kana
Who did you wish you did not meet?:	Meghan
Who was your best friend?:	Jenny and sometimes Dave
Who was your enemy?:	Myself and maybe Meghan
Who do you miss?:	Papa, my Utah peope, the family, Dave
Who will you never forget?:	If they're my friend I won't forget.
Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2006::	Ha
What will you always remember about 2006?:	Traveling and becoming comfortable in my own skin.
Aspirations for 2007...
What do you want to do in '07 that you couldn't in '06?:	Get a steady theatre job ( like that exists) and move somewhere for more than 6 months.
Any resolutions?:	Nope.
What different about 2007 than 2006?:	Numbers
Anything you want to change about yourself for 2007?:	When i need to I'll change it.
Do you want to make more friends in 2007?:	I just want to see those that I have who are far away.
Take this survey \| Find more surveys Bzoink - The Original Survey Site

Public Service Annocement

2006-12-11T21:33:00.001-08:00

To all friends from Point (i.e. the people I've lived with or in whose house I pretty much lived)
If you all ever need a place to stay in Milwaukee, regardless of me living there, my mom has asked me to let you all know that her house is open. Just let me know and I'll let her know.

She likes company.

Public Service Annocement

2006-12-11T21:33:00.000-08:00

If I Kiss you Where It's Sore Will You Feel Better, Better, Better... Will You Feel Anything At All?

2006-12-06T21:56:00.000-08:00

Things are getting a little better, Life has slowed down but I haven't dealt with any of the issues in the last post save my Grandpa dying, and my Mom's let go of the whole Props Assitant thing. I'm actually kinda of enjoying being bored for once. Will see how long this lasts.

Not too much to really say, but I felt like letting you all know that pieces had bee swept up and I'm now in the process of rearranging them into some order. Thanks for all the comments and phone calls. It really did mean a lot and it was nice to hear from people not directly inovled in the situation. But yeah until next time...

Why is it when you think everything's been cleaned up you discover you're a mess again?

2006-11-27T22:46:00.000-08:00

Its been a long fucking week.
I went into it confused about my current situation. I'm kinda sorta seeing this guy and while he's nice, its not anything serious nor would it ever be. But while its kinda been fun its missing something. Plus after seeing him on my drive home, I would really miss Dave which I'm kinda trying not to. And I'm trying to figure out if me and this guy would work at all. So I was trying to grapple with that and trying to figure out what the hell to do with it.

Well on Monday morning my Papa (Grandpa) went to the hostpital. At first it didn't seem to be anything to worry about, Papa's been to the hospital before and gone through a lot and always made it back out. Well as Monday wore on and we all sat in the hospital it, was apparent that this was proably it. And I was okay with that. On Tuesday morning my Dad called me and told me to get myself and my brothers to the hostipal. Papa was going to go and we needed to be there. So we came and sat with him and laughed and told stories and found him Opera music to listen to ( it was his favorite and we were supposed to watch La Traviatta on Monday). And while everyone else cried, I was the tissue dispenser. I couldn't cry, I have no clue why, I just couldn't. So I took care of everyone else the best I could. We got home and started to make arrganments and cook for Thanksgiving.

So that sucked. There's really no other way to put it. It just sucked. On Wenesday Mike ( my middle brother) and I tried to mitagate the suckage with some good friends. My best friend and a family friend ( they had called us about it). We went out in Milwaukee and it was a bad idea since the DD was a friend who I have a fucked up tension with and who has recently dated my best friend ( who still loves him ...and he doesn't feel the same way). And he doesn't deal with socailly fucked up situations well. Or really drunk people. So that was a mess.

Well late on Wenesday I talked to Dave, and for the first time all week I was able to allow myself to break down in front of someone. And its really bothering me. We've been talking as friends for a while now and it hasn't gotten werid yet and we're both trying to make sure it doesn't. Regardless, he was the person I allowed to comfort me and I have no clue why. And he managed to do a damn good job of it considering how far away he was.

Thanksgiving rolled around, and while I was really tired and hung over, I was really looking forward to it. All was well until I called home ( I needed to know what time dinner was so that the D&D contingent could make it to my house on time). At that point I found out my mother invited Sky over. Sky was a friend from High School whom I really can't deal with. She's had a rough life, but at the same time my family, and two others have really tried to help her. And she constantly makes these really bad decsions after we tell her that its a bad idea, i.e. marrying an ex sex offender and having a baby with him. She recently decided to leave after several really bad expriences but not until she found out she was pregant again. So her situation sucks, but I can't save her. She has to do that and so far she hasn't. Right now I'm just trying to keep myself afloat and I can't fix anyone else. She's also the ex of the above mentioned friend who dated my best friend. And while I didn't want to try and deal with her, he really didn't. So all of the sudden there was this God awful tension at dinner which until this year we had avoided. Thankfully she had to get to her own family celebration so it didn't last too long.

The worst thing about it is that I feel like such a bitch for being like "I can't save you." I wish I had the engry and the compasssion for that but I find that I lack it. I want to be able to fix it for her, but every time I have tried in the past its never worked.

So with Thanksgiving over I had day and then on Saturday we had Papa's funeral. Which was rough but good. And again I found myself unable to cry while the people around me were. It was a good service and a lot people came out to honor him. I just learned that he was the Village Adminstartor for the town I used to live in for about 23 years. And that he was well liked. So it made sense, and it was cool to see all these people that I hadn't seen for years.

And Saturday night I found myself on the phone with Dave again, and for those 2 hours I felt good again, like I wasn't a mess. And that scared me and made me feel good at the same time. We're close for better or worse, and I know it seems like for worse from the outside, but he's a friend. I mainly appricate the fact that he has no qualms about calling me on my shit and has the ablity to rationally point things out to me when I'm a little emotional about them. And he has talent for knowing what do or say when I'm falling apart. And I find myself missing him more and he feels the same way. We both know that nothing in our situation can change right now, we both need to get our shit together before that could even be a possablity.

It just sucks.

One good thing happend although my mother in her amazing ablity has made me feel like shit because it. I got I job working as a Props Assitant for a small company in Chicago. They can only pay me 150 dollars, but its not a full time gig or anything. I met with the Props Master today and we talked about it and I would be coming down on what is my current weekend. I can keep my job that I have and proably still have time to pick up another one. But I find myself wanting to travel, but I know I can't afford it. Or that I really should just save my money. There are two trips I want to make, one out to New York to see everyone that moved out there and one to Oregon to see the person that I proably shouldn't.

So I'm a mess. I can barely tell which way is up right now and it doesn't seem like its gonna get any easier any time soon.

Thanks for letting me rant.

Is steal this survey like steal this book and if so where is the part about getting free food??

2006-11-17T11:24:00.001-08:00

So I'm taking Nicki's advice and stealing this survey.

1.Describe your favourite weather using a noun
Late night parking lot weather.

2.If you could be alive during any time period, which would you choose? Why?
There is one condition on the other time period thing, I get asprin. If I'm granted this condtion, I would proably say the period between 1660 and 1714, so much happened to change the world and the way we deal with it and percive it.

3.Your favourite line of poetry?
"I must down to the seas again, for the call of the running tide
Is a wild call and a clear call that may not be denied"
(John Masefield)

4.Book that you’ve read more than once:
The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe, I've read it so many times that i almost had it memorized as a kid.

5.Worst traveling memory.
It starts with a French rail stirke. Since I don't speak French I had no clue until a nice Frechman ( they do really exist) told me what was up. I caught a bus to Caen and crawled on a train to Paris ( I was trying to get to Belguim). This took until about 4 o'clock. I got to Paris and had to transfer stations ( the Gard du Nord to the Gard San Michel) but the rail strike extended to the metro so i had no clue how to get between the two stations. And then the information lady ( who was also on strike) was screaming Ferme/ Closed to me as I was trying to politley ask for help. Finally I looked her in the face and said "Its bad enough that I have to pay for my country fucking up right now ( it was May 2003) but I sure as hell don't feel like paying for yours fucking up as well." She looked at me stunned and the gentleman behind me cracked up. He helped me find a bus to the other train station and got me on the way (Wow two nice Frenchmen in one day. I got on a Belgium train and got into Ghent at about midnight and tried to call my cousin's cell phone. The number didn't work, so I called the local youth hostel, they were book so I called the other numbers I had in my guide book for loding. They were all booked. So i called the youth hostel back and begged for space in there lobby. They told me they couldn't but I could spend the night locked in the train station. This really didn't seem like a good plan, because a. I had all my shit on me and couldn't put somewhere safe and b. I was the only woman there with around 10 men. I told the people at the hostel that I really didn't feel safe doing that and they said that they couldn't help me. I hung up a yelled some choice words at the phone. At that time the station manager came by and took pity on me and helped me get a room for the night. The moral of this story is twofold I guess 1. Avoid the French rail system. 2. Book your room in advance. Wow that was a lot longer than I thought.

6.What fictional character do you most resemble?
I really don't know.... I'll get back to you on it.

7.Due to Bush not signing the Kyoto Treaty, the ice-caps have melted and the sea level has risen. What mountain range do you go live on?
The Watsatch in Utah, probaly up Logan Cayon maybe around White Pine Lake, one of my favorite camping spots. Plus at about 8,000 feet it hopefully won't be flooded.

8.If you had a daemon, what would it be? Name?
Hmmmmm.... either ferret or a bobcat. Maybe Roy.

9.Your favourite nail polish colour.
Deep Purple.

10.How do you express yourself creatively that pisses off the neighbors?
Since the neighbors are a little far off, right now I piss off my family by leaving works in progress on the kitchen counter to dry.

11.Dogs or cats?
Cats. Brillantly low mantience animals.

12.Did you think the Beast was less hot at the end of Beauty and the Beast?
Yes!

13.What’s your comfort food?
Pud Thai or oddly sushi (I've become an addict in the last year)

14.What song do you sing in the shower?
What ever CD I bring in.

15.Do you name your electronics? Do tell?
My car is Fred (It might be turning into Fredgar but I'll let you know if it does), My computer is Myths of Creation, and the iPod is The Podling.

16.Have you ever wanted to leave a show at intermission? What was it?
Yes. Our House. Bands need to stop trying to turn there song catalogs into shows.

17.Your favourite word?
“Ananas" German for Pineapple.

18.Do you wear lipstick? Where do you wear it?
Occasionaly. Whenever and wherever I damn well feel like it.

19.What’s your favourite part about your favourite holiday?
The random Risk games that break out after Thanksgiving Dinner.

20.What kind of music are you listening to right now?
Sufjan Stevens. A friend in Milwaukee introduced me to him and I'm slowly falling in love with the song Chicago.

21.Have you ever streaked?
Nope.

22.What’s your favourite way to travel?
Train. I still get to see things but I don't have to drive.

23.Have you ever gotten a scar from doing a load-in? Where and how?
Proably. I honstely don't remember.

24.Have you ever seen the aurora? How did it make you feel?
Yeah. In Stevens Point in October of 2004. Awestruck and at peace.

25.Your favourite way to end a piece of writing?
Kind of trailing off.

2006-11-17T11:24:00.000-08:00

The survey strikes agian

2006-11-15T17:44:00.000-08:00

I've been meaning to update, but right now it would just turn into a rant about why I'm not overly fond of Country Clubs. And I liked reading Nicki's and Amanda's surveys and well I've never done one... so... yeah.

3.Describe a typical Sunday for you:
Depends, if I'm not working get up around 11:00 get dressed, and watch football and knit.

4. Any odd routines you follow when you wake up?
The fact that I hit the snzoo button for about half an hour tends to piss people off.

5. If alcohol was banned worldwide, what would your reaction be?
I'd make my own.

6. When was the last time you cried?
September.

7. Your CD collection is going to be repossessed. You may keep one.
Take the CDs but if you touch the Podling you die.

8. Do you believe world peace is possible?
God I hope so.

9. I'm a genie. Name your wish. (Money and Love cannot be granted).
I had a job a theatre for an entire season (9 months or so) and I want an apartment.

10. Name one thing about the OPPOSITE sex that automatically turns you off.
Arrogance

11. Name one thing about the SAME sex that automatically turns you off.
An inablity to function.

12. Speaking of SAME sex, what do you think of Brokeback Mountain?
Good movie, good story.

14. Where are you?
In my kitchen.

15. Leatherface is in the kitchen. Will you fight to victory, or hide?
Who the fuck is Leatherface?

16. Do you feel that people underestimate you?
My friends and co workers no, People in authority yes.

17. When you're in a bad mood, what will always put you in a better mood?
Painting, making a mask, pounding the shit out of something.

18. Honestly, do you talk about MySpace in real life?
No myspace for Chris... its scary.

19. Have you met someone online in person?
Nope

21. Do you believe minimum wage should be raised?
Yeah come on.

22. If someone at a bar gives you "the look" how do you respond to it
What's the look?? The look of love, hatered, like you might be a good dinner... Really can we get a bit more spefic here.

23. Desperation happens. Do you take advantage of desperate people?
Not unless they're in my imedate family and then only as a joke,

24. Pretend you're 15 deep in beers. Describe what you would be doing now?
Passing out.

25. Does everyone in your life know the real you?
THe people who stick around do, but most no.

26. What is something you're afraid of?
Medicority, having a boring life.

27. Pretend you took a hit out of a bong. Describe what you would be doing now?
Passing it to my brothers.

28. Have you ever had a beer bong?
Not that I remeber.

29. You have two weeks to live. Would you tell anyone?
My folks, so the understand when I max the credit card on plane tickets.

31. A band you thought was cool when you were 15:
Savoy Brown

32. You have a nightmare, who's the first person you think to call?
No one.

33. Wanna have kids before you're 30?$
Not really. I'm cool with playing the crazy aunt, but that's about it.

34. A memory from high school?:
I really don't remember much of high school. I was a little on the boring side.

35. Ever had a crush on one of your friend's parents?:
Not that I can think of.

36. Naughtiest thing you've done at work:
Napped.

37. Do you look more like your mom, or your dad?
Mom.

38. Something you've always wanted to learn how to do:
Metalworking

40. Where you'd like to be in 10 years?
I have no clue where I'm gonna be in 10 months let alone years.

41. Something you learned about life:
I have nothing phliospical to say save that I've found cookies are good.

42. What do you want for your birthday?
Go backpacking in Southern Utah.

Bittersweet elections

2006-11-08T14:51:00.000-08:00

So over all now that the elections are over I happy with the national results. We have a democratic majority in the house ( let's hope that they do something with it) and Rumsfeld is gone.

On the other hand I'm ashamed of my state and the way that the majority of my fellow Wisconsin citizens voted on both the Death penalty and the Civil Union ban. We have effectively shot our selves in the foot.

I'm upset because the Civil Union ban has screwed a disproporant amount of people over. And I'm confused namely because the people who voted for the ban are the ones who complain about the general promiscuity in our culture. If two people want to come together in a monogamous relationship what does it matter what sex they are. And the other thing that really annoys me is the fact that regardless of whether or not the ban passed gay marriage is illegal, this admendmant or lack thereof wasn't going change that. And the other bit of hyprocrsy was that this refereudum was sponsered by the party that was supposed to stand for less invasive goverment, which let's face it the Republican party does not.

The Death Plenalty being reinstated really pisses me off as well. For two reasons, 1. It doesn't derter the people commiting these crimes and 2. Its REALLY FUCKING EXPENSIVE. Do you know how much it cost to excute John Wayne Gacey ( a truly henious and repugnt human being)?? IT COST THE TAXPAYERS OF ILLINOIS 60 MILLION DOLLARS!!! That's to kill one man. Not only are there the montary costs but also it locks up the courts with the appeal process. I mean if your going to kill someone then you better give them the appeals but there are other things that I want our courts to be doing besides going through the appeals process for death row convicts. Like ruling that the Civil Unions ban is unconstitutional.

Well at least nationally things may be looking up.

Blah

2006-11-05T17:00:00.000-08:00

That's what it feels like. I'm cool with it I just know I need to motivate myself to actually do things. I've been sending my stuff out and getting some response , which is great. I'm just really lazy right now I'm not very happy that I'm doing that. But I think that I'll busy soon enough with out realizing it. Its still odd not to have projects or classwork. I keep thinking I have to do it and I'm surprised when I don't have to. Well Yeah, I'll try and get motivated next week.

Here Comes Johnny Yen Again....

2006-10-20T00:11:00.000-07:00

I felt the need to post though there isn't much to talk about. Lear is winding down, we're on our last four performances and I'm glad to say that for the most part the show has been well recived, even by the New York Times. ITs been a long intense show. But I have enjoyed it a lot and learned a lot as well. I still haven't wrapped my head around the fact that as of Tuesday I will be unemployed. Its time to put this show to bed, but I will miss the weekly paychecks.

One of the things that I've discoverd with this show is that I miss actually making things. I really haven't created anything since August mainly do to the fact that I haven't had a space that I can mess up and leave that way. I swear the next place that I live ( that's mine) is going to have a workshop/studio that I can put all my props, masks, and art crap into a leave a bloody mess. I miss that.

But other than that I'm doing well even though everything is up in the air again. Its just my usual way of opperating these days.

And they lived happily ever after...

2006-09-26T00:04:00.000-07:00

Several things in my life lately have lead me to question the mythical concept of happily ever after.

During a conversation I about our cultures obession with the begins of relationships I realized quite to my shock that I had no clue what happily ever after really meant. And I had a lot of reasons to think about that idea lately.

The first most obivous one is that Dave and I ended. I thought I may have found the story that ended with that mythical fragment instead of the usual it ended they talked, realized it wasn't working, and became good friends as the years progressed.

The second is I'm watching the implosion of two my friends relationship. One is madly in love and the other isn't ready or looking for anything that serious. One of my friends though she had found her happily ever as well.

But what is happily ever after?? Is it getting married?? Because if it is I know way too many marriages where that is not the fact. Is it finding that dream job that you've always wanted?? How many people are working there dream jobs while feeling hollow and empty? Is it truly knowing yourself no matter how painful??

Is happily ever after like the song at the start of the 2nd Act of Into the Woods where every one is bored out of their minds?? Because if it is then I don't want it. The two things I fear the most is to be boring and to be medicore.

Is that why so many stories and movies end when the relationship starts or pick up when it is all going to shit?? Is that why so many of us are at loss once a relationship exits the begining stages??

These questions plague me because I lack my own definition of this idea and the ones I've been presented with are just too damn vague.

It was Coffee and Coffee and Coffe somemore...

2006-09-22T23:55:00.000-07:00

It is amazing how quickly a day can go from pretty good to shitty.
Today was one of those days.

I slpet late since I could nad I had been feeling sick the last three days. When I finally pulled myself out of bed I had about four hours before I had to be at work. So I took a train in to the city early to do some exploring. I got off at Fullerton and wandered through Linclon Park. It was nice, full of students ( De Paul is right there) and was a good place to walk. I grabed some sushi and jumped back on the train.

I sat and watch the city go by and few stops later a really attractive man sat right in front of me. It was one of those moments you love mass tranist, for the occsional piece of eye candy in and amgonst the creeps and assholes. I caught him looking and as I stood up I noticed he smiled at me. The train pulled into the station and I walked over shook his hand told him my name and then got off the train. It was one of those random moments that make life interesting.

I got to work ate my sushi and went about the show, showing my crew cover what needed to be done and in general enjoying talking with them. The show finshed and as I was doing the last of my post show jobs, two of my co-workers told me, as they were clocking out that the rest of the crew was going out for drinks at a bar. When I said good night to the rest of the crew they didn't even acknowlege me. I have no clue what the hell I did to annoy or upset them to the point of obviously excluding me. It stung. A lot. Espically when these people are some of the few I actually get to talk each day.

At least strangers are still kind to me.

Simpiclity Can be good too...

2006-09-11T23:20:00.000-07:00

Hi all. Its been awhile since my last post and my life has been consumed by King Lear at the Goodman. Save the two days off I've literally gotten up commuted ( I live out in the suburbs) gone to work, gotten back on the train and slept. Lather, rinse, repeat. It has been interesting to work on a production where I'm being paid something that I can live off of. So in some respects its going well. In others I'm just plain worn out like everyone else on the show. I think we're all looking forward to opening and I'm enjoying the fact that I don't have to be at work until 2 tomrrow. I'll fill you all in about the show once I'm more coherent.

I guess I was wrong....

2006-08-27T14:35:00.000-07:00

I got the job in Chicago at the Goodman. So I start next Friday. So yeah things are going well.

2006-08-24T08:32:00.000-07:00

Stupid f-ing wedding. So last year I agreed to be my friend Bri's maid of honor and now it looks like its going to cost me a job. Its an overhire gig at the Goodman for the run of King Lear and it runs right through the wedding. And I don't think that it will be okay. ANd I really can't go back on my word. Yes my career is important but my friends and family are more so. So it looks like Chris almost gets hired again. Great. Now I'm stuck looking for another shit job so that I can make some money to get out of here, beacuse to be completly honest when I left in Febuary I hoped not to come back for a long time. A real long time. Well here's to trying to get back to where I want to be.

Why is it you always find where you belong when your trying to leave.

2006-08-21T22:11:00.000-07:00

That pretty much sums it up. I'm back on the road and this time heading east. I went down to see my Aunt in Ashland ( Southern Oregon, home of the Oregon Shakespeare Festival)which was exactly what I needed. It was nice to have family around to talk to. Plus my Aunt Nancy (who is techincally my Great Aunt) is just one cool lady. She's somewhere in her 70s and is completely independant and extremely involed in the community, not only politcally but also she works a lot with the arts community there.
And I found out I really like Ashland, I now understand the stories I've heard about the people stopping for lunch and never leaving. The town is literally in the middle of nowhere (3 hours to Eugene and 6 to San Francsico) yet it manages to have a Shakespeare Fest that runs from Febuary to October, a Symphony, and several other smaller theatres. Its just this really cool extremly liberal town in beautiful moutians. I really want to live there some day.
Getting out of Oregon turned out to be a task, I've replaced 2 tires and a radiator hose. I swore to myself that if I had any troble leaving that state that I was going to take as a sign and turn around. But I didn't so I don't have to have that phone conversation with my parents.
So I'm exhausted in Salt Lake getting ready to sleep so I can continue back to Wisconsin.

Traveling Merices

2006-08-17T16:58:00.000-07:00

I don’t know why I haven’t shared this with you all yet but I feel like I should. It was given to me buy my friend Peg Koller before I left Wisconsin this February.

“Broken things have been on my mind lately because so much has broken in my life this year and in the lives of people I love- hearts, health, confidence…

Our preacher Veronica said recently that this is life’s nature: that lives and hearts get broken- those of people we know, those of people we’ll never meet. She said that the world sometimes feels like the waiting room of the emergency ward and that we who are more or less OK for now need to take the tenderest possible care of the more wounded people in the waiting room, until the healer comes. You sit with people she said, you bring them juice and graham crackers.

And then she went on vacation.

‘Traveling mercies’ the old people at our church said to her when she left. This is what they always say when one of us goes off for a while. Traveling Mercies: love the journey, God is with you, come home safe and sound.”

From Traveling Mercies by Anne Lamott, p 106

And surprisingly today some did at least seem to understand the second paragraph of this quote. I was getting my oil changed and finding out all that needed to be done and the guy was being level with me and we discovered that my front tire was about to shred. So I went back to the hotel to find out where the Les Schwab was. I was asking cause it’s the only tire place that I had heard anything about. I was going to the parking lot where I ran into this gentleman Mike, whom I had talked with when I was checking in. He and the hotel manager were talking and I was filling out paper work and chatting as well. He saw that I was visibly upset and asked what was wrong and I told him about the tire. The long and short of it was that he brought me to the local tire place and got me a used tired. It was only 25 bucks but he wouldn’t let me pay him back. He said it was nice to be able to help someone. Its moments like these that restore your faith in humanity.

As for Dave and me, we hashed it out. We both still love each other but right now each of our own lives is in such disarray it makes it really hard to be there for someone else like we should be able to. So were taking a break until shit gets shorted and then we’ll reassess and at that time if it doesn’t work then it doesn’t. We don’t want to throw away some that has the poetional to be good when we have our shit sorted.

So I’m glad I came out here and in general feel that I am in a place where I can move forward with life. Which was the entire point in coming out here. So all in all things have worked themselves out, with some help.

One Crazy Fucking Ride

2006-08-16T01:23:00.000-07:00

So Utah's done. ANd in some ways it been great and in others it has been awful.

But the next three days are what's going to change things. Shit between Dave and I has been going downhill steadly for about a month now. And it seems after we hash shit out that each time it is over a lack of communication.

Well I'm hitting the end of my rope with it all and I'm driving out there to talk to him. I don't expect it to fix anything but I know for me that I have to do this. If I went East tomrrow things would just continue to detrieorate and quite frankly I want to deal with this and put it to bed. If something happens great, but if it doesn't at least I won't be saying "I wish I saw him one more time."

Mainly I want to see him cause then I'll know what's up. I figure that out from body lanuage etc. and before I make my decision I need to see him. I'll let you know what happens but needless to say its gonna be a little crazy for awhile.

Long time no Post

2006-08-03T14:39:00.000-07:00

So I decided to actually post even though things are going how I would like them to. Its been espically frustraiting as I'm not finding work ( or almost getting a job to be turned down at the last mintue) and quite frankly I'm not getting what I need out of my realtionship with Dave. And its not for a lack of trying which is really frustraiting. If one was going right I'm might have a prayer of dealing with the other, with out wanting to shoot myself or anyone else.
Other than that things have been cool. I've had a lot of fun hanging out with people here and enjoying the random adventures.
Like going out to a Chinese buffet and finding ourselves at Antalope Island in the middle of the Great Salt Lake. Which has to be one of the most beautifully desolate places I've ever been. Its this island covered in sage and small brush and no trees,in the middle of a lake that's so salty that it almost can't support life in it. I though growing up I would hate places like that. But I find that I don't. There is something so peaceful in it.
What happened was Christina, Jess and I had finshed eating and climbed into Jess's car (which she had just gotten the plates for after waiting for over a month). Jess wanted to go for a drive and we picked south. We thought we were going to Ogden until we realied we had never actually been to the Salt Lake and went. It was one of the better random road trips I've been on. Next week's adventure involes Indain Food and we'll see where that leads us.

So what's next

2006-07-13T02:25:00.000-07:00

So Opening night has come and gone and life is okay. RIght now my main worry/concern in life is what next? Where do I go from the Opera. I've been sending out my resumes etc for months and have gotten to the first round of interviews and then gotten the nice rejection email. I'm just getting nervous cause let's face it I would like to continue to work in theatre in the near future. Its been espically nerve wracking lately as two of my friends out here have recently landed great gigs. And I am truly happy for them. They are both really wonderful people as well as being really good at their jobs. So I wish them the best but it makes me nervous. It will be what it will be and I'll keep sending stuff out until I have a job, however long that takes. Its just a little discouraing right now.

And the War of 1812.... What the fuck was that??

2006-07-05T01:07:00.000-07:00

Peter to Rob our resident Brit.

I have to say that wins as my all time favorite 4 of July quote and I wanted to share it with y'all.

So life in Utah progresses, we're currently in tech and will be for about the next week. Ah the joys of teching four shows at once. Its not that bad though considering the prop shop is in good shape and for the most part so we have time to do our notes and do them well. figaro is going well and so far I've had no major notes save the flower pot hat, which has been fun bit I have a soultion that will work. So I'm not too worrried,
But I gotta sleep now so that I'm fuctional tomrrow.

Thank Christ for the White Owl

2006-06-20T21:01:00.000-07:00

... No really that bar saved me from several murders today.

So its that time again in the prop shop. Its the week before tech and the adds keep coming. Not that this really a problem but it just adds stress on to us. That and no one ( including me) cleans until it gets out of hand.

My problem today was that my usual work station got taken over. This is the place that I have to work on small props and to plan out what has to be done for my show. (I'm the show head for Marriage of Figaro one of the 4 shows we're doing this summer, which isn't bad save they all tech at the same time.) So I kept having to carve a new corner out of our messy shop to work.

What really pissed me off about this was that one of my co- workers, summaraly took contorl of the big communal work table. And this is the latest in a trend of not treating the rest of us in the shop with some respect. Listen sweetie, you're good, really good, but so am I and I do know shit too. I really hate being talked down to and I know its not on purpose but seriously its beigning to get to me. I'm trying to come up with a way to tell her this constructivly cause if I just shoot off my mouth when I'm annoyed it will just add to more tension in the shop.

So after work today I went over to the one local bar, the aforementioned White Owl, and got the Tuesday Night Speical ( a 40 oz beer and a damn good burger). And finally I was able to laugh with my friends out here ( who I happen to work with).

And thank god cause this means that tomrrow will be better and I'll be able to take care of the things that are bugging me with out pissing to many people off.

Rock Climbing is like Crack...

2006-06-09T18:51:00.000-07:00

....but more expensive.

So I've started climbing again and I'm addicted. To the point where I want to take my food money and buy a membership to the gym cause it will be cheaper. But then there is the cayon about 5 minutes up the road where the climbing is free save the fact that I need to invest in gear. Damnit I hate being poor, but I love my job so in several ways I don't care about the pay save when the choice is between food, climbing and beer (its $12 for a 6 pack of the beer I like.) I'll proably end climbing outside a lot but I hope to improve by the end of the summer.
So I'll leave y'all with my new ID badge picture

Climbing+ Rain

2006-05-28T16:10:00.000-07:00

So life at UFOC is settleing in. It hasn't been to crazy yet but I'll have a lot more to do once we get the directors here. I'm really enjoying the way we're running the shop this year. Because of the commucation breakdown that occured last year we restructured things. So Bryce is our props master and is overseeing everyhting and the rest of us are working basically as Assitant Props Masters to him. So my major concern is getting Fiagro done on time. And as of the end of the 1st week of work I have 99% of the rehearsal props taken care of ( rehearsals start on June 10th) and managed to refinsh a table and learn how to gold leaf. So its been really good.
I've been having a lot fun in my free time too. Like today where we had a intro climbing day. I didn't get to far up the wall cause it was raining pretty hard. But it looks like we have like 8 climbers here this summer and some with extensive exprience. So I hopefully will be climbing a lot in my spare time. Other than that I've hanging out and meeting all the new people and catching up with returning people. So yeah life is good.

More Coherent Utah

2006-05-18T23:59:00.000-07:00

So this time I'm a little more coherent writing this. Last night's post was after 14 or so hours of driving on 3 hours of sleep. And dealing with a car that really tries to overheat going up hill. Just to clairfy for all of you, Dave and I are still together but he's not in Utah, which kinda sucks but we'll make do. That and myself and about 5 people (so far not everyone's here yet) are trying to get him to visit us. Hopefully he'll be able to.
But on to picturey goodness.

Gratuios Dave shot but then again this is how I started my trip.

The beautiful Colmbia River Gorge when its a rainforest. Which I love. But then....

Welcome to the not rain forest part of Oregon.

And the hill that Fred had to climb. It was pretty icky until we hit the Blue Moutains in Eastern Oregon

And know welcome to southren Idaho ... the most desolate place you'll ever drive through

And the last shot I have was of the sun going down knowing I had about 3 hours to go.

But I made it here and was really glad. So far its been pretty good if a little intense. I'm just not used to haveing so many people around, but its good. I'll post more later and I apolgize for how long this took. My internet just got fixed. So yeah that's my trip.

Utah again

2006-05-18T00:23:00.000-07:00

So I made it to Utah after about 14 hours on the road. Leaving Dave behind this morning was on of the hardest things I’ve had to do. I’m still surprised I was able to get in the car and drive away from him. It didn’t really hit me that I was really leaving until Pendelton. And from there to Bosie I was a wreck. After Bosie I just hit the point where it would be a longer distance to turn around so I had to keep on going. So I got here and the werid thing is that I’m in Dave’s old apartment though not his room. I’m living with Magic Matt and Cassie which rocks even though we’re in the basement. I have a tv and internet. I would have loved to live Christina and Maggie again but this should be a good living arragment though the apartment needs some work, like towel rack’s in my bathroom so I’ll let Gary ( the guy in charge of this ) know about it tomorrow. Its just werid to be here without Dave. I hope that I get to see him before August. Yeah I’ll post pics of my drive tomorrow. Talk to y’all then. And Matt I’m gonna try my luck with one of the mountains here. However I want to see your pictures of Mt. Hood. Well, I’m gonna go sleep now.

Mt. Hood

2006-05-16T20:59:00.000-07:00

So yesterday I finally got to go meet a volcanoe, and in the process check out a really beautiful lodge. I think Dave had to psyically remove from it. That and it was on huge moutian. I never realised how high 11,000 feet is. So since I now can take digtal pictures I thought I share Mt. Hood with you all.

A Good Quote

2006-05-11T20:55:00.000-07:00

Yeah, well, I've got a dream too. But its about singing and dancing and making people happy. That's kind of dream that gets better the more people you share it with. And well, I've found a whole bunch of friends who have the same dream. And it kind of makes us like a family.
~Kermit

AHHHHHHHH!!!

2006-05-09T13:07:00.000-07:00

So I'm in the middle of a condrum that I don't find myself in. I have two potiental jobs for next fall, one is an internship with a Childern's Theatre, and the other is a Props Artisan Job at the University of Delware. My problem is that the Childern's Theatre wants an answer and I haven't heard back from Delware. The job with the Chlidren's Theatre pays $100 a week and I'm also the Scenic artist which I'm not sure I'm entirely comfortable with. The job in Delware is to assit the Graduate Props Masters as well as help organize the stock etc. Its a nine month contract that is salired and it has benfits which really has my interest. And I think i have a chance to get it. But I don't want to shoot myself in the foot and end up with no work next fall. So i'm sitting here trying to figure out what to do. Normally I only get one potental offer so I take it but now I have to wonder if I keep hunting or take what has been offered.

The American Dream involes Cheese??

2006-04-14T22:05:00.000-07:00

So I finally got I job that I'll have to give notice for in about 3 weeks. Eh such is life. However its a pizza joint in town that is pretty fun. The place I'm working is called American Dream Pizza and I'm in the Prep kitchen which is kinda fun espiscally since they let me use the hunge industrail mixer to make cookie. Its a local independant place that's motto ( or what's on the back of the shirts) is "Music, Art, Beer, Pizza." so I dig it. Plus people are gernerally laid back and pretty cool. So it will be fun while I'm here.

I guess Thorton Wilder doesn't suck

2006-04-12T18:03:00.000-07:00

Let me explain, I HATE Our Town. I've worked on two productions and whie one was in high school the other was at Bay Street Theatre with an extremly talented cast and amazing designers. The set ( yes a set, it was a back wall and a floor) is still one of my favorites, it was a wood floor where the planking radiated from a centeral point and contiued up the wall with gaps between the wall planks to create a really cool lightbox which ended one of the acts with a sunset. And yet with all these things I still hated it. I never got the point of what Wilder was doing because I thought that it was the characters that mattered. That's not how it works, the ideas are important and the characters are just vechiles for them.
What made me realize this was not rereading Our Town, but reading another Wilder play The Skin of Our Teeth. Which sets you to care about the idea, primarlly the fact that no matter what the human race seems to survive and rebulid, but just barely. What makes it interesting is the first two acts take place before the impeding "end of the world" ( the ice age and the Biblical Flood respectivly) and the thrid takes place after it ( a pre nuclear era post aplolitic war ( the play was published in 1942). We see all these events in through the Antrobus family which is made up of Mr. and Mrs. Antrobus, there two childern ( Henry and Gladys) and their maid Sabina. Its interesting cause it is a juxapostion of mid 20th century anachorism mixed in with thing like inventing the wheel and the alphabet. And the way that Wilder wrote it makes it apparent (at least to me) that the characters don't matter, in fact they don't change at all until the thrid act. Even so it made and interesting read and I would love to see it performed. So yeah I guess I need to reread Our Town and past the veener of the play that sentmentalizes life at the start of the 20th century. So I guess that Thorton Wilder doesn't suck.

Why do they call it burning a CD when you don't light it on fire?

2006-04-06T14:36:00.000-07:00

I mean fire is what I think of when things are burning, or least extremly intense heat. The reason this question is floating around in my brain is due to the fact that I have burned a shit ton of CDs today.
No I haven't stolen a ton of music, they're picure CDs that I'm sending out with my resumes and cover letters. After talking to a lot of people at USITT the general consicenes was along with a resume and cover letter a web site or some other digtal version of your portfolio is a good idea. So I went into mine selceted what I wanted and have been fighting with windows ever since. (I can hear the Mac users among us saying "See Macs are way cooler than PCs.") Now while Macs have there moments, if I did have one I would have a lot harder time playing games like Kirby's Dreamland etc. And that would make me a sad panda. The reason that Windows is pissing me off is the fact that it has decided that best way to organzie my pictures is not the way I set them up but in Alphabetical order. So finally everything went into a folder by show or class and went off in the mail. Well at least four of them did. Hopefully I'll be hearing something soonish. But I must return to the dread world of the cover letter. Ugh I hate reworking these damn things.
Toodles

Woo HOO More Interviews

2006-03-30T15:28:00.000-08:00

Except that they're the good kind this time.
So I've been spending my time here at USITT learning a lot about this industry and also feeling kindsd of out of the loop. Now I don't mean this skill wise, I feel that I know a good deal ( not that I can't learn more) but I feel lost when people are talking about important designers. When I hear there names, I have no clue who they are or what they have done, all I can tell is that they are imporant. I normally realize this because of the way that people say there names etc. For instance yesterdy there was this session with the Scenic Designer, the TDs (there are 2 of them) and one of the Props Master of Actors Theatre of Louisville. Now I went since this particaluar session was about how they dealt with the Humana New Play Festival. The thing about the Festival is besides being New Plays is that it is rep. So for the month of March they are running 7 shows in rep. Now since I'm working rep again this summer, I was more interested in how they do things ( this is how I think) and some of the soultions that they have come up with to deal with change overs etc. Well that's not what 99% of the people in the room were interested in. They were interested in what Paul Owen the Scenic Designer had to say. Over the cousre of the hour and a half I realized that this man had been a driving force in American Scene Design for at least the last 30 years and that I had never heard of him. So I went hmm, who else here is important that I don't know about. I've found what I need to learn next, I need to learn about all of these people who came before the current generation of designers and techincans.
Other than that realization in that part of my knowlege its been pretty good. Yesterday I got to attend this great session on paper props and learned about a lot of good rescorues, (induling this one guy Herb who in his retirement is makeing a collection of paper good available via Cd) and some new techniques. I also was able to let the people there know about the water color paper trick with plotters as well as about the Tate online. Then I got to hear Jon Jory ( the retired (I think) Artisic Director of Actors Theatre) speak. Which was great. The other really cool session i got to go to was about Handmade Scene Painting tools and it was done by Rachel Keebler the head of Colbalt Studios, who is really nice and had a lot of good info. ( By the way she was giving out drawings of the tools and if people want them I am willing to make copies and mail them.) And I ran into people that I worked with last summer and some that I will be working with again. And got hugs so that was great.
Today I didn't go to that many sessions. The first one I wanted to go had too many people , so I didn't get in but I did get to wander around the stage expo and check stuff out. And then after some debate I hiked over to the Marriot and signed up for interviews (there was a fee involed which lead to the debate). So tomrrow is a portfolio review and 4 interviews. So hopefully I'll get some work out of this. ANd then I finally got into this session about Non tradtional product use. It was awesome. The two presenters talked about what they had found and opened up the floor, there must have been at least 150 people there all with a lot of good knowlege about werid things used in productions. Finally it was decided that some how we needed to make a list and add to via email so hopefullu I'll get that info to whomever is interest. Oh and for those Scene Painters amongst us, if you add some lysol or Pine Solv to your paint it will keep the bactriea out and keep it from going bad as fast. And then the really cool thing that happened was that I got to go on a tour of Actors Theatre and I got to meet and talk with one of the Props Masters there. He was really nice and answered my questions about how do you deal with rep and delicate props and stuff like that. So it was really cool, but I need to eat and then head on back over. I'll let you all know what happens.

I finally got an Interview

2006-03-24T15:35:00.000-08:00

I wanted to post something a little more upbeat than the last couple of posts. I got a job interview at one of the local coffee shops. :) About fucking time. So yeah for small victories.

The upside

2006-03-15T23:46:00.000-08:00

After my slightly frustrated post I do have to say ther was at least one bright note. I got some girscout cookies mailed from home. You know sometimes Moms just rock.

2006-03-15T14:41:00.000-08:00

So yeah things have been interesting here. Unfourtunaly the housing situation has fallen apart again but on the upside Dave's parents let me know that they didn't mind having me around, so due to there graciousness I have a place to live. Not that that means I'm not looking for somewhere, but trying to find a place for 2 months is next to impossible so I'm cocentrating on finding a job until May. ANy job. Which is hard to doin Corvallis. I've been surprised how many fast food joints/ coffee shops/ and stores want a resume. I'm sorry I only really want to go to the trouble of handing someone a resume if they are offering a salary and maybe benfits. Not a part time hourly wage thing. So its been frustraiting. On the other hand the best application I've been handed has been a paper plate from this place American Dream Pizza. They said to put my info on it anyway I wanted to, so out can the art supplies. They liked it and said they get back to me after OSU spring break ( next week). So hopefully.
In other news I'm getting to go to USITT so that should be rather interesting and hopefully help me get a job in the fall. I'm looking forward to it. So that's what's up in the world of the Chris.

Progress Has Been F%@$* made

2006-03-01T13:35:00.000-08:00

So finally after a decent streah of frustration I might have a place to live soon! ( Does happy dance in coffee shop)
Dave and I went up to Portland on Monday to look at some leads and visit Shannon Buss who is living there now. Well unlike Seattle which was a total bomb, all of the places we went to had space avaiable. The first place was way too expensive so that go nixed rather quick. The second we went to was out a bit from downtown but right next to this huge beautiful park. There was a part that was left like the woods from around here and it was so beautiful, just lush and green and piney. I really liked it. And the apartment is month to month for 500 a month, which is dirt cheap when you split it between 2 people. The only other thing is that it is kinda of got this 70s chic thing going down but I'm willing to forgive that.
So after that we drove up to where Shannon is living. She lives in this part of Portland that is kinda mix of State Street and Brady Street. Its kinda cool and electic and I rather like it. It is also about 5 blocks from Powell's (the bookstore I was gushing about in an earlier post). And it turns out her buldign ( which incidently is month to month) is renting. Albeit it is for 650 a month but the location is better and the apartments are nicer.
We enjoyed are visit with Shannon a lot. She and I kept going "this is soo werid.." its odd to see someone from Wisconsin in Oregon. I'm glad to say that she is doing well and seems to be having fun. Her apartment is really cute and so is her cat Ditto, who provided me with much needed cat thearpy. ( Namely cause Dave's Dad's cats still refuse to talk to me or let me touch them). So things are moving and hopefully I will be too. :)

Help I lost my email adresses

2006-02-26T22:33:00.000-08:00

This is a plea for help. Since my Point account went down months before I expected it I lost my email adresses. Can you guys either leave them in the comments or email them to me at my yahoo account. Oh and Sarah let Travis know "Yes but no sprinkles. For every sprinkle I find, I shall kill you!"

A Public Service Annocment

2006-02-23T16:43:00.000-08:00

SCREW YOU POINT EMAIL!!!
So since I didn't change my password ( I couldn't figure out how to while off campus) My Point email is deceased. So if you for any random reason want to email me, my address is Christianna_Huber@yahoo.com. Thought I should let you all know.
So far I'm finding my houseing situation to be quite frustrating. Dave and I went up to Seattle and visited the places that we had made appointments with. Apparently they were willing to deal with the possiblity of a short term lease on the phone but in person they either jacked prices up much higher than they had intainally said or all of the sudden they didn't accomidate short term leases. Oh well on to round two which now also inculdes Portland. Which has the most amazing independant book store I have ever seen. It's called Powells and its HUGE, as in 1 city block and 3 stories on top of that. Its sci-fi fansty section which is the size of most regular indie bookstores. Its Theatre section was okay, play wise great but tech theatre books was one small shelf, so I was kind of dissapointed. ANd then I found an out of print kids book I had been searching for for years so my faith was restored. The reason I'm letting you all know about this is that they have a web site www.powells.com. So if your looking for out of print books this may be a good rescource. So yeah not much else is going on here. Life is progressing the way it should.

Progress Can be Slow and Painful but in the end it tends to Be Worth It

2006-02-13T16:47:00.001-08:00

Well I figured I should let y'all know what's up since its been awhile. Life has been going pretty good save attempting to get Dave to look at Apts. and to apply to Utah again. Well we're roadtripping to Seattle tomrrow to look at places so that issue is semi solved ( I'll be happy when we have an address). And the heavens opened forth and Dave said in front of me and his dad that he would be applying again. So that makes me happy (I'll be extremly happy if he gets a contract). Its hard to get Dave to do something espeically when constant poking and proding is the worst way to get him to do anyhting. I realized this early on but man I ain't paitent and dealing with him sometimes involes more paitence than I have. But other than those two issuse things are good. Not much else is going on save my on going quest to pet Dave's parents neuortic cats. Miko will let me look at him but if either Dave or I get near him he's gone. Which is sad cause he's a big black and white long hair that looks quite petable. Ebony will occasionally talk to me but she's totally not interested in letting me closer than three feet. So that's frustraitng although she wins the award of smallest cat with the biggest eyest that I've met. So that's all for the update. Life is progressing.

I'm sitting in my cofee shop and a Ron Jermy look alike parked in front of me

2006-02-06T13:04:00.000-08:00

Okay this is post so that I could have a witty title for once. Cause the title is true. An older heavier version of Ron Jermy just parked his obnoxiously huge ancient Land Crusier right outside the coffee shop window. I guess I'm not annoyed that its a huge truck cause I've now seen parts of the world where these types of vechiles are necessary and while Corvaillis isn't one of those places, this truck looks like its from somewhere that a truck like that is actually used for its intend purpose ( handling roads that aren't paved) rather than hauling the kids to soccer games. So yeah that's my rational for not hissing at the moment.
Oh and I've found a damn funny mascot. OSU is the Beavers, and the mascot is an Angery Beaver. Who the hell thought this was a good idea, I mean 1. Beavers aren't frightening, in fact they are kinda cute and make good hats and 2. It's a fucking college campus and we are not the first generation to Beaver as a double entandre and finally 3. What noise does an Angry Beaver make, Dave and I have been trying to figure this out. I wonder what would happen if I showed up at a football game wearing a stuffed animal beaver on my head, or better yet a real live beaver. Or maybe i should just get a beaver skin hat and wear it.

I'm in Oregon and the Sun is out???

2006-02-05T13:46:00.001-08:00

Hello all.
Well Dave and I managed to survie the cross country trek and have arivved in Corvallis, which is where Dave is from. The trip was pretty cool.
Here is a state by state summery of what I have discovered. North Dakota is really fucking boring but on 94 you get to go through some of the badlands so it kind of made up for some of the sheer boredom. Montana is beautiful. Andy I don't know where you are from in Montana but I think I can see why you were none to happy about moving to Nakoosa(sp). Idaho after you get out of the moutians is flat and desolate. Eastern Oregon, right when you go over the border has some of the most amazingly desotlatly beautiful moutains I've been through. And the Columbia Gorge when it goes through the Cascades looks like something out of Lord Of the Rings. So over all there was some pretty cool shit espeically in Oregon and Montans
So now I'm in Corvallis for about a week and I've discovered two great thinggs 1. This town loves coffee and coffee shops (I'm curently writing this post from one) and 2. apparently Febuary equals no winter coat weather. I can say this with some certainity since I'm down by the OSU campus and no one is outside sunning themselves ( I walked through frat and sority land to get here). I really like this concept. I went on a three hour (importu) walking tour of Coravallis with Dave last night and didn't really need more than a coat. WTF?? ANd today when I decided that I needed cofee ( or actually the chai I ended up getting) I wore a sweat shirt. I am so fucking confused. Why didn't I know that Febuary doesn't have be living on Hoth. So yeah there's my rambly post. I promise more cohrence with the next one.
P.S. Laura- the enchilada's tasted great. :)

I'm in Oregon and the Sun is out???

2006-02-05T13:46:00.000-08:00

random update

2006-01-28T08:26:00.000-08:00

Iwish was good at post titles but eh whatcha gonna do. Anywho I thought I would let y'all know what was up in me end of the universe. Which is packing. Its kinda of hard to pack your life into three rubbermades, a hiking backpack and 2 tool boxes ( one actually has just art supplies). But I think I may have succeeded. Woot! So departure is imment and I really haven't proceesed that yet. Hell, I'm picking Dave up on Monday and I haven't processed that. Its a good thing I'm 99% packed so I can now clean out my car. ( The donut's have not been replaced but I think the nerf darts are gaining secientence) So yea and Nicki and Sam please don't kill any guinea pigs on my account. ( not that I thought you would). So Now its time for a shower and a trip to the Miller Brewery with Jenny :)
Chris

Another great time waster

2006-01-23T20:08:00.000-08:00

Good Job, Youre in Ravenclaw with Cho Chang, Luna Lovegood, and Padma Patil. Your colors are bronze and blue. This House is haunted by the Grey Lady, and lead by Professor Flitwick. Said the Sorting Hat in the first year, Well teach those whose intelligence is surest Will you rate?? :)

2844 other people got this result!
This quiz has been taken 45836 times.
6% of people had this result

Jumping on the Bandwagon

2006-01-23T19:44:00.000-08:00

You are Form 0, Phoenix: The Eternal.

"And The Phoenix's cycle had reached zenith, so he consumed himself in fire. He emerged from his own ashes, to be forever immortal."

Some examples of the Phoenix Form are Quetzalcoatl (Aztec), Shiva (Indian), and Ra-Atum (Egyptian).
The Phoenix is associated with the concept of life, the number 0, and the element of fire.
His sign is the eclipsed sun.

As a member of Form 0, you are a determined individual. You tend to keep your sense of optomism, even through tough times and have a positive outlook on most situations. You have a way of looking at going through life as a journey that you can constantly learn from. Phoenixes are the best friends to have because they cheer people up easily.

9588 other people got this result!
This quiz has been taken 43499 times.
22% of people had this result.

Jumping on the Bandwagon

2006-01-23T19:41:00.000-08:00

Getting Life In Order

2006-01-20T11:10:00.000-08:00

So after about a two week hiatus, where I wasn't sure what the fuck was going on in my life. I've got things moving again. I finally made the decision that time was fast apporaching that job or no job I needed to leave and start moving again. While being home can be really nice it feels like I am stuck in statis.
Plus I really fucking miss Dave. Its odd. I've spent some good chunks of time a way from past boyfriends, for instance there was once I was in Europe for six weeks and emailed my boyfriend at the time once and I think I may have called as well. Now don't get me wrong, I;ve missed these previous men when we were seperated but not like this. And there is really no good reason that I can come up with of why I should stay here and wait around. I'm not doing much and its kinda of a pain to get work when you could be leaving soon. Plus I had most of my stuff in the garage still and there is a limit to my parents graciouness on that matter.
So I've decided that I need to set out soon. And of all the cities that Dave and I looked at Seattle was second for us both ( San Francisco was my first choice, but its too expensive, and Denver was his, but its too fucking cold). So Seattle it is. I've found some places that are with in our price range and there appears to be work out there in jobs that will help me pay the rent.
So I pitched this to my folks and was surprised how cool they were with the whole thing. The only thing they wanted was to figure out if one of them could drive with me. They couldn't but I talked Dave into coming out (I'm helping with the ticket) and to drive with me. So if all goes according to plan ( God I hope so) I should be leaving WI sometime around Feb 1st. Well yeah.

2006-01-15T01:32:00.000-08:00

So I went back downstairs and expressed my annoyance to Leah about my Dad and he overheard and I explained to him why I said what I said. He let her stay up and explained it wasn't cause he didn't trust her but becuase he wanted to make sure she got some sleep. I'm glad he explained why. He's gotta remember when your 16 it sounds like he doesn't trust her.
So I stayed up and gave her the heads up on some of reasons why my folks function they way they do cause I don't think any one has. Which is important. We all understand to a certian extent why things are they way that they are but since she's new here and doesn't know it may make things confusing. So I hope it helped and I told her if shit was pissing her off she could come talk to me. I don't know if she will but it seems like we get along pretty well. I can get her to laugh so that's good. So yeah, this is gonna be rough for all concerned while we all figrue out why we all work the way we do. And maybe we all need to be willing to fill others in on why.

-Chris

I'm Gonna Shoot my dad

2006-01-15T00:09:00.000-08:00

So okay I generally get along with my dad but lately he's been driving me nuts. Namely cause he's trying to parent the hell out of Leah, who is the young lady that's living with us, my sister. The problem is that he doesn't seem to be able to do it with out being a total dickhead. The reason i'm saying this the fact that he was content to let her hang out downstairs when I was up. But the moment I went to bed and he heard me closing the door he went to go tell it was time for bed. Jesus she's not gonna light the house on fire or have an orgy in the living room. I know this is how he shows that he is concerned etc but it comes of like he doesn't trust her. If I had known I would have slept on the fucking couch so she could just hang out. He doesn't have any reason not to trust her and that's proably what it feels like to her. God he just needs to trust her. Yeah she's got her issues but this ain't how you deal with them. He did the same thing to Mike and aleinated him and he's gonna do it to her. He's creating a situation that can lead to bad things.
GRRRRRRRR! Maybe I'll go back down and let her hang out.

I like sun

2006-01-12T15:25:00.000-08:00

Just a quick post here. Today was the first time in 17 days that we had a full day of sunshine. I forgot how pretty it is around here when it is sunny. I actually got up at reasonable hour and got things accomplished. It just was nice.
Oh and anohter note when making steamed dumplings make sure to spray the steamer with non-stick spray first.

~Chris

Employed.... In May

2006-01-06T15:05:00.000-08:00

So I have a job, unfourtunatly its not until May. I'll be going to work at the Opera in Logan for another summer and I'm looking quite forward to it. It is nice to know that I will have a job in the foreseeable future. The next step is to find one for the time between now and May. Until then I'll volunteer over at St. Johns. I'm helping some of the seniors with their design idea for there midwinter ball. The theme is USO dance in a World WAr II Airplane hanger. The space, their gym is perfect as its roof imtates that shape. And there is a huge flag at one end. So hopefullY I can convince these guys to put the stage and the band there and use the flag as a backdrop. I found out that they wanted use some posters from the era so I'm gonna take a look and see if I can present them with some cool options that they can use if they want to. It sounds like they have thought their concept through and I'll be helping with implempntation. The problems 1. I can't swear there since it is a school which as all of you know is a massive problem for me and 2. I have to be really careful with what I wear, since this a conservatie enivorment and its a bunch of teenage boys that don;t see chicks very often. Oh god what have I gotten myself into. It should be interesting.

~Chris

Notes On Angels

2006-01-04T23:38:00.000-08:00

So just a quick note don't start watching Peristroka ( Part 2 of Angels In America) with some one who has not seen Meliuium Approaches. Too much explaining is involed in this.
I found it very interesting how the end speech became this whole thing about the gay community beigin accepted and AIDS needing to be dealt with. It got far more preachy than I remember the play being. It didn't resonate the same way the end of the play did with me. Over all I rather liked how it was done save the end and the fact that Heaven resembled Italy ( where it was shot). The Image of San Francisco was I felt too firmly established to be ignored or turned into Northern ITaly. Anyho I just wanted to share that with you as we all haven't gotten to watch it together...yet.

~Chris

Update

2006-01-03T22:18:00.000-08:00

So after my ranting curse ridden post I am glad to say I'm doing a bit better. I have found ways to keep myself occupodo. I am going to be voulnteering sometime up at the local miltary academcy ( I'm friends with the libarian). I'm going to be hopefully helping some of the cadets plan there midwinter ball decoations, the theme, WWII. This will be very interesting. Or I'm gonna work in the archives. Hey it will get me out of the house.
Other than that, I've got a new mask going, based off a piece of art from Mesopotamia, that to my best knowlege was stolen several years ago when the Iraq museum in Baghdad was looted. So I'm attemping to make it. It's part of a sersis, I have this theatre periods book that I'm working my way through and in my boredom and expansive amount of free time, I'm gonna try to do a mask for each period covered in the book that is from a piece of art from the period. I'm not sure what I'm gonna do with them but it should be interesting. I'll try and post my results here with a picture of the art work that inspired it.
And my other item to keep me throughly occupied is a Photoshop book called classroom in a book. Its published by Adobe so hopefully it will know what it is talking about. If I learn anything cool or pretenit, I post it here.
But I'm doing better, sitting in the kitchen with my tea listening to Jackson Browne. Time to peal the glue off my hands and go make friends with Photoshop.

~Chris

2006-01-02T16:07:00.000-08:00

I really can't fucking stand this. I hate beign here. There is nothing at all for me here. My one friend has a kid so I can't even talk her about most this shit cause her concerns are around her kid. And she can't really relate to what I'm going through becuse her whole life is fastforwarded into someone in her thrities. SO we either talk about Ayden or books. And I like books but right fucking now I don't give a rats ass. There is nothing to do. I hate having this much free time cuase I have no clue what the fuck to do with it. And if i had money for gas I go visit people but I don't nad I'm down to a quater tank and I wasted about half of it just driving cause I had to get away from here. ANd in the end I just had to come back cause were the fuck else am I gonna go you know.
I know that what I really need to do is load my car and just pick a direction and start drving not really caring about the destination. I just need to start something new rather than being stuck in fucking limbo.

2006-01-01T23:17:00.000-08:00

This werid but I'm just gonna type and see what comes out. total stream of concious, well here goes.
I love my family but home isn't home any more. It somewhere other than here and I know that. Its hard to be back, I mean right now I'm living in the guest room/ sewing room. There is no where for me to have as my own, with my own things. Its harder than I thought. Its frustrigating to sit a wait, which is what I'm doing. As soon as the cover letters go out there's nothing for me to do but wait and see if maybe something else comes up on artsearch.
I've been home a week and I'm already climbing up the walls with boredom. I know have all this free time but with nothing to do I have no motivation to get things accomplished
I think that thing that scard/ bothered me so much when Dave was just sleeping and keeping werid hours was the fact that it was a foreshadowing of my life right after graduation. I need something to motivate me. to make me move. I'm hoping to hell that I get some work through temp agnecies etc. other wise I might need to be preid from the celing by the 20th .
I think the reason I like About A Boy ( I just finshed it) is the fact that there is a real catharis something that changes. It might be watching the breaking apart of these characters is something we all expriecne. The breaking apart of ourself to come back to gether in one new cohisive unit that somehow resembles what came be fore but is still instricatally different. I guess that shift is happening to me now. THings are breaking down and reforming and God I'll be glad when things have colesed angain.

The sky was the Limit/ Into the Great Wide open/ Under the skys of blue

2005-12-21T23:43:00.000-08:00

And its over. Another life come and gone. Time to shed the skin and become the next incarnation of me.
The last time I had a life end was 2 and half years and several thousand miles ago. I cannot belive the people and the places that I have seen and the impact they have had on my life in these last couple of years. And how many of them were totally unexpected. And how greatful I am that I have had a chance to come into these peoples lives.
Many of the people that I knew here I know that I won't see again, but that's okay. I float in and out of peoples lives and that's who I am. I said my good byes and I'm floating along. Excpet for those speical occasions where I land with a thump and decide to stay. Most of you reading this know you're in the thump catagory, in fact all of you are. You don't get rid of me that easy. When I thump and like it, it is very hard to get me to move.
Oddly the strangest thing is a sense of readiness. The obligations are done and now, and now it is time to start living, how I want to. Looking at it, it is rather scary, I don't really have a plan, I'm jumping in and seeing if I can swim. For a long time this has scared me shitless and as of last Friday I'm no longer afraid. I know this is what I have to do and I'm fine. And I am ready

Ah studying

2005-12-17T14:53:00.000-08:00

So i'm taking a break from studying for exams (well wrting my theatre history one) and wasting time on the web. I just don't want to do this but I know that I should. Its just the last final push and then I'm done. Gone, its good i think. I've fallen in to one of my bad habits latley which is not calling people when i should. I gotta get better at this cause once I leave that's how I;m gonna keep in touch, and well with this thing. Okay rambling musing over with on to defining realism.

I'm Free, I'm Free and Freedom tastes of Reality

2005-12-16T13:03:00.000-08:00

SO for those of who do not know the above quote is from Tommy by The Who, which if you haven't listened to you need to. Also listen to Quadrophinia at full volume if you haven't
I had my portfolio review and for the first time since I have been here, I was the one in bloody control of the damn thing. WE talked very briefly about this semester and I was able to explain to my profs that I'm good when I'm doing one thing at a time, i.e. I teched and opened 4 shows in 2 weeks this summer when the props master did not communicate well to his staff and I was no where as stressed as I have been when I am at school and dealing with one production. There comment was that I shouldn't do that in the future and my brain went, "Well duh." but instead my mouth said that I realized that and was not about to put myself in that situation again. Plus I think they were finally impressed with my work as a Props person, which is what I have sorta transformed into over the last year and a half. I still enjoy Stage management but damn it I get to play glue, spray paint, power tools and Photoshop. Also if could've been the fact that I had done seven shows since last May either as a props person or on a Stage Management team. So I was damn proud of myself. I left feeling good.
Then came the weird part, I went and got my cap, gown and tassel. It was all the sudden real. This part of my life is over, which is fine, and I realized how much I would miss the people I had met here. Now some of them have moved on ( most of you who are reading this post) but I am leaving behind some really good friends. I know I won't fall out of contact with them, the ones that really matter, I've managed to keep intouch with most of the family either through the phone or electronically. ( by the way Nicki, thanks for introducing us to the wonderful world of the blogg.)
So I'm ready for the next step. I don't know where I'm going next save the general direction, west. It will be a crazy adventure plus I have company so that will be fun, and at least one friend who is with in a thousand miles. Miss Shannon Buss is moving to Portland OR so I'll proably go and visit her when I can afford to.
So I'm now free from obligation and I'm ready to start living on my own terms. I know it won't be easy, but hey when do I ever do take the easy route.
Chris

PS. Nicki, Dave is quite real, I promise, ask Sarah, Greta, Humphery, Andy or very soon Travis. They will have met him.

One Week Left

2005-12-12T14:01:00.000-08:00

Wow... Its werid to think that in one week my academic career will for all intents and purposes be over. For as long as I have remebered I've been a student. And now I'm on to being something else. I realize now how fucking scary this is. The one thing that has always been part of my identy is going away. After I finsh Kyle's exam I will never have to write a paper like that again. Is that the columination of all my English classes, a theatre history final that I don't really care about? Werid.
After this week is over I need to figure out the next step. I'm kind of torn about it. I know I want to go west, to go and live somewhere that I've really never been before. But I need to figure out a time plan. The thing that is complicating this is the fact that I will want to see Dave. So part of me wants to get out there asap but the other part says that I should take the time and plan and go out around the middle of January or the end. I'll have to muse it over but I'll figure it out fast. I think airing on the side of planning might be a good idea and I don't think Dave will mind too much and if he does he's gonna have to deal.
Well I need to work on my senoir, bullshit, project. Time to label the prop shop.
Chris :)

YAWNNN

2005-12-04T15:39:00.000-08:00

Well I've spent y day since strike job hunting. Grrr. It just is a long process of going to website after website and trying to find where they have stuck the job postings, if they have any. Some of these bastards are really inventive where they hide them. I've found several stuck in audition info. Oh well.
Life is going along well here. THe last week has been me coming to grips that this part of my life is ending and relizing I will miss it. Even though it has driven me near crazy. I've started to slowly say goodbye to my life here and who I was.
It is time to go do something crazy and be reborn. For those of you who don't know, in a couple of weeks I will have packed my life up and headed west. I'm sure where to next, basically where I can get work until May and then if all goes according to plan, I'll be returning to Utah. But basically I am plunging into the unknowen and seeing what's there. I have faith that if nothing else it will be interesting. Wish me luck. :)

Am I just a comlpete fuck up?

2005-11-21T10:08:00.000-08:00

So today is one of those days that I always seem to have in Stevens Point (aka, living hell). I feel like I am a complete moron. I woke up late for makeup, late enough that it was pointless to come in. So I went in to talk to Susan and got the whole what the hell is it now Chris, that I get seem to get from all my professors here. I feel like they feel that I can't do this and really as far as I am concerned there are about two things in this world that I am good at. And theatre is one of them. If they don't think I can succed out there I need to fucking know. I know that I can namely cause i get enough rest and I only have to focus on one fucking aspect of my life, work, not work and school which over the course of the last two and half years I have learned doesn't seem to work. I'm sick of feeling like the moron which is why when I'm here I apologize so fucking much. I want this to be done which is not how I wanted to feel about my last semester of college but right now I want to quit even though I only have a month left. I just want to be done and go curl up somewhere and not move for awhile. I'm just fucking tired of who I am when I am here.

A cute cat is staring at me

2005-11-18T09:21:00.000-08:00

Well home again. Its werid coming back. espeically when Dave comes with. Its not that anyone here minds him at all, in fac they rather like him, but it makes coming home going to my parents house which is after all supposed happen at some point. Plus I'm kinda down right now cause I just dropped Dave off at the airport to go to New York to take care of things there like moving. So I don't get to see him. I could've gone but school has prevented me so sad day. At least its only to Monday. Man I'm fucking patheic but I really don't mind. So yeah today is visiting people whom I haven't been able to in a long time day. It should be fun. Other than that I'm doing well. Oh and the cute cat in question is a grey tabby named Gizmo, who belongs to my sister.

2005-11-14T13:48:00.000-08:00

Okay. So I promised Nicki that I would give her a link to this blog once I wrote something profound and pithy. So..... yeah.... um. Okay so profundity is not my strong point sp I'll just say what's up. I'm still here in Point and I'm in the middle of the holy shit I'm graduating and don't have a job yet portion of the semester. I have been looking ( mainly in San Francisco( come on its pretty)) and Yesterday I actually applied for two jobs that I don't have a shot in hell at getting but Hey you never know the people a cirque du soilie might be crazy enough to hire me on as an ASM. I don't really want to Stage Manage in any capicity but what the hell why not. Its work and it is in Vegas which can work for Dave to since there is a shit ton of work in that town for lighty type people. The only problem is that I can see Dave's friend Andrew occuping our couch most weekends. But hey it would be good work. If that doesn't come through, I do have a gig hopefully in May back with good old Utah Opera Festival Company. Well see.

Woot

2005-11-11T11:25:00.000-08:00

Just a happy moment. I got two references I wanted okayed. Which means it is on to resume time. :0)

Happy Halloween

2005-10-31T12:06:00.000-08:00

So yeah!!! Its tech week and I managed to get out of the state beforehand. ;) ANd have a good halloween. This weekend I decided to fuck resposiblity and have some fun. I've got two more months to use the exucse of well, I'm just a stupid college student and I better fucking do that. Plus after December my budget becomes far tighter. So time for 400 mile road trips to go see a band. And friends and to have 6 hours of realy good converstaion while slighly hungover. It just makes me want to be done with homework for good. To actually have a weekend with nothing hangin over my head, or in this case blithley ingore it. So here caution meet winds and have fun.

Whoo Hoo

2005-10-27T10:34:00.000-07:00

So after a slight mid semester dip into the doldrums, I'm now doing okay again. There are some linger effects but the one that i want linger is seeming to. I'm sick of watching life pass me by. I'm gonna live this mother fucker if it kills me. So here it goes. We'll see if it works. Who knows.
Chris

1st post (Man I'm sleepY0

2005-10-24T12:01:00.000-07:00

So basically this has been started so that I can reply to my friends Sam and Nicki's posts. Cause you can't if you don't got one of these things. So I figure I should get one so that I can send Nicki and Sam witty replies. Well at least attempt witty replies. Well off to the Mac Lab cause even though we got a brand spanking new design lab the printer doesn't work. Some things never change.