This werid but I'm just gonna type and see what comes out. total stream of concious, well here goes.
I love my family but home isn't home any more. It somewhere other than here and I know that. Its hard to be back, I mean right now I'm living in the guest room/ sewing room. There is no where for me to have as my own, with my own things. Its harder than I thought. Its frustrigating to sit a wait, which is what I'm doing. As soon as the cover letters go out there's nothing for me to do but wait and see if maybe something else comes up on artsearch.
I've been home a week and I'm already climbing up the walls with boredom. I know have all this free time but with nothing to do I have no motivation to get things accomplished
I think that thing that scard/ bothered me so much when Dave was just sleeping and keeping werid hours was the fact that it was a foreshadowing of my life right after graduation. I need something to motivate me. to make me move. I'm hoping to hell that I get some work through temp agnecies etc. other wise I might need to be preid from the celing by the 20th .
I think the reason I like About A Boy ( I just finshed it) is the fact that there is a real catharis something that changes. It might be watching the breaking apart of these characters is something we all expriecne. The breaking apart of ourself to come back to gether in one new cohisive unit that somehow resembles what came be fore but is still instricatally different. I guess that shift is happening to me now. THings are breaking down and reforming and God I'll be glad when things have colesed angain.