So today I found out one of my roommates loathes me. How may you ask. The wonders of the Internet. My Space bulletins to specific. Obviously he wants me to know but lacks the testicular fortitude to tell me. And at first it hurt. A lot. And then I got angry and then I laughed my ass off. Because the thing he apparently loathes is me. As a human being. My attitude, my way of dealing with world everything.
Apparently he thinks the opposite of like is dislike. Which in my experience is not true. Apathy or ambivalence is the opposite liking someone. Because you can't affect them at all. He handed me a whole shit ton of power with the knowledge that I don't even need to be present to drive him nuts. And honestly save today I really don't think about him that much. Yes I would've liked to get to know him as we live together, but that is mainly because we live together. Not any other reason. But now, now I can get out all of the sheer bitchiness that I've spent this summer storing up. And the best part is I don't even have to try. I just have to be present and say good morning. And sit back and know it drives him up a fucking wall. And the best part is that he doesn't expect this. In fact he'll expect that I'll try harder now that I know he dislikes me intensely. The funny part is that he thinks I'm sad and pathetic. But really I find it sad and pathetic that he blogged about the fact that I drive him nuts. Twice.
If your miserable don't blame me sweetie. I'm not responsible for your misery. You are and guess what, me being here and myself does not take the onus off of you to change your situation. Unless you enjoy being miserable. Which if you do that might take some of the fun out of this. Yes the fact that we aren't chums would bother me occasionally but not enough to write about it or dwell on it. Until now. Until you handed me a way to vent a few things with giving anyone else a reason to be pissed at me, or lifting a damn finger.
And I'm just going to sit on the couch watching my presence drive him insane and laugh. Because I get to enjoy being bitchy with out a. having to put forth effort, and b. feeling guilty. Is this a little passive aggressive, you bet your sweet ass it is, but I learned at the masters knee this summer.
So I get an outlet and he goes nuts. Which let's face it is what the vengeful bitch in me wants. And really I don't feel a strong compulsion to keep her in. Maybe on short lease otherwise his laundry may ended up in the creek behind our house. Under the ice.
Yes I know this is an uglier side to me. But I refuse to change. And I'm not going to feel bad about sitting in my living room. So I might as well enjoy it.