Sunday, December 31, 2006

I can tell you we swaggered and swayed, Deep in the tower, the Praires below, I can tellyou, the telling gets old...

So I'm a survey stealing bitch. Sorry Amanda but I wanted to.
End of the Year 2006 Survey
In 2006...
Did you do something you would never do?:Where do you want to start? I think the four states in one year thing. And working for the Goodman.
Did you keep any New Year's Resolutions?:No, I just hope I keep my life interesting.
Did anyone close to you give birth?:Thankfully not this year.
Did anyone close to you die?:I lost my Papa.
Did you visit any countries?:Nope just my own.
What would you like to have in 2007 that you lacked in 2006?:Some stablity and my own apartment.
Will any date from 2006 stay etached in your memory forever?:There are quite a few. Driving in Eastern Oregon. Sitting in Logan Cayon after the pirate party watching the sun come up. Watching my Papa die. Which was oddly peaceful.
What was your biggest achievment of 2006?:Staying employed in theatre since May. I'm pretty fucking proud of that.
What was your biggest failure?:Not being independant. So moving back home.
Did you suffer illness or injury?:Not really. Nothing beyond the usual straches, bumps, bruises and burns.
What was the best thing you bought in '06?:Confidence in me. I realsied that if I want something I normally find away to make it happen.
Did your behavoir change over the year?:Yes. I finally feel like an adult.
Where did you spend most of your money?:Books, food and travel.
Are you happier than this time last year?:I don't know. I'm more comfortable with myself as a human being but not necessarily with my situation.
What song will remind you of 2006?:Samson by Regina Spektor
What do you wish you would have done more of?:I'm not sure, made some more money so I wasn't living at home.
What do you wish you would have done less of?:Nothing really.
What did/will you do for Christmas '06?:Hung out with family and smoked a hookah with my mom, my brothers and my brother's girlfriend.
Did you fall in love in 2006?:Yes
Did you get your heart broken in 2006?:Yes
Favorite TV program of '06?:Mythbusters, or Deadilest Catch
Do you hate anyone now that you didnt hate this time last year?:Nope
What was the best book you read and/or movie you saw?:Hmmm... The Baroque Cycle was really good as was The Amazing Adventures of Kaviler and Clay. Move wise Brokeback Moutian, V for Vendetta.
What was your greatest discovery?:That I'm not as bad looking as I think I am and I'm a horrible flirt
What did you do on your birthday and how old were you?:I hung out in the Moutians and I was 23. Oh and I got quite drunk on Alabama Slammmers. Really Drunk.
What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?:Settling somewhere even though I like my nomadic lifestyle.
How would you describe your personal fashion concept of 2006?:Dresser than the past. More put together.
Who was the best new person you met?:Kana
Who did you wish you did not meet?:Meghan
Who was your best friend?:Jenny and sometimes Dave
Who was your enemy?:Myself and maybe Meghan
Who do you miss?:Papa, my Utah peope, the family, Dave
Who will you never forget?:If they're my friend I won't forget.
Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2006::Ha
What will you always remember about 2006?:Traveling and becoming comfortable in my own skin.
Aspirations for 2007...
What do you want to do in '07 that you couldn't in '06?:Get a steady theatre job ( like that exists) and move somewhere for more than 6 months.
Any resolutions?:Nope.
What different about 2007 than 2006?:Numbers
Anything you want to change about yourself for 2007?:When i need to I'll change it.
Do you want to make more friends in 2007?:I just want to see those that I have who are far away.
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Monday, December 11, 2006

Public Service Annocement

To all friends from Point (i.e. the people I've lived with or in whose house I pretty much lived)
If you all ever need a place to stay in Milwaukee, regardless of me living there, my mom has asked me to let you all know that her house is open. Just let me know and I'll let her know.

She likes company.

Public Service Annocement

To all friends from Point (i.e. the people I've lived with or in whose house I pretty much lived)
If you all ever need a place to stay in Milwaukee, regardless of me living there, my mom has asked me to let you all know that her house is open. Just let me know and I'll let her know.

She likes company.

Wednesday, December 06, 2006

If I Kiss you Where It's Sore Will You Feel Better, Better, Better... Will You Feel Anything At All?

Things are getting a little better, Life has slowed down but I haven't dealt with any of the issues in the last post save my Grandpa dying, and my Mom's let go of the whole Props Assitant thing. I'm actually kinda of enjoying being bored for once. Will see how long this lasts.

Not too much to really say, but I felt like letting you all know that pieces had bee swept up and I'm now in the process of rearranging them into some order. Thanks for all the comments and phone calls. It really did mean a lot and it was nice to hear from people not directly inovled in the situation. But yeah until next time...

Monday, November 27, 2006

Why is it when you think everything's been cleaned up you discover you're a mess again?

Its been a long fucking week.
I went into it confused about my current situation. I'm kinda sorta seeing this guy and while he's nice, its not anything serious nor would it ever be. But while its kinda been fun its missing something. Plus after seeing him on my drive home, I would really miss Dave which I'm kinda trying not to. And I'm trying to figure out if me and this guy would work at all. So I was trying to grapple with that and trying to figure out what the hell to do with it.

Well on Monday morning my Papa (Grandpa) went to the hostpital. At first it didn't seem to be anything to worry about, Papa's been to the hospital before and gone through a lot and always made it back out. Well as Monday wore on and we all sat in the hospital it, was apparent that this was proably it. And I was okay with that. On Tuesday morning my Dad called me and told me to get myself and my brothers to the hostipal. Papa was going to go and we needed to be there. So we came and sat with him and laughed and told stories and found him Opera music to listen to ( it was his favorite and we were supposed to watch La Traviatta on Monday). And while everyone else cried, I was the tissue dispenser. I couldn't cry, I have no clue why, I just couldn't. So I took care of everyone else the best I could. We got home and started to make arrganments and cook for Thanksgiving.

So that sucked. There's really no other way to put it. It just sucked. On Wenesday Mike ( my middle brother) and I tried to mitagate the suckage with some good friends. My best friend and a family friend ( they had called us about it). We went out in Milwaukee and it was a bad idea since the DD was a friend who I have a fucked up tension with and who has recently dated my best friend ( who still loves him ...and he doesn't feel the same way). And he doesn't deal with socailly fucked up situations well. Or really drunk people. So that was a mess.

Well late on Wenesday I talked to Dave, and for the first time all week I was able to allow myself to break down in front of someone. And its really bothering me. We've been talking as friends for a while now and it hasn't gotten werid yet and we're both trying to make sure it doesn't. Regardless, he was the person I allowed to comfort me and I have no clue why. And he managed to do a damn good job of it considering how far away he was.

Thanksgiving rolled around, and while I was really tired and hung over, I was really looking forward to it. All was well until I called home ( I needed to know what time dinner was so that the D&D contingent could make it to my house on time). At that point I found out my mother invited Sky over. Sky was a friend from High School whom I really can't deal with. She's had a rough life, but at the same time my family, and two others have really tried to help her. And she constantly makes these really bad decsions after we tell her that its a bad idea, i.e. marrying an ex sex offender and having a baby with him. She recently decided to leave after several really bad expriences but not until she found out she was pregant again. So her situation sucks, but I can't save her. She has to do that and so far she hasn't. Right now I'm just trying to keep myself afloat and I can't fix anyone else. She's also the ex of the above mentioned friend who dated my best friend. And while I didn't want to try and deal with her, he really didn't. So all of the sudden there was this God awful tension at dinner which until this year we had avoided. Thankfully she had to get to her own family celebration so it didn't last too long.

The worst thing about it is that I feel like such a bitch for being like "I can't save you." I wish I had the engry and the compasssion for that but I find that I lack it. I want to be able to fix it for her, but every time I have tried in the past its never worked.

So with Thanksgiving over I had day and then on Saturday we had Papa's funeral. Which was rough but good. And again I found myself unable to cry while the people around me were. It was a good service and a lot people came out to honor him. I just learned that he was the Village Adminstartor for the town I used to live in for about 23 years. And that he was well liked. So it made sense, and it was cool to see all these people that I hadn't seen for years.

And Saturday night I found myself on the phone with Dave again, and for those 2 hours I felt good again, like I wasn't a mess. And that scared me and made me feel good at the same time. We're close for better or worse, and I know it seems like for worse from the outside, but he's a friend. I mainly appricate the fact that he has no qualms about calling me on my shit and has the ablity to rationally point things out to me when I'm a little emotional about them. And he has talent for knowing what do or say when I'm falling apart. And I find myself missing him more and he feels the same way. We both know that nothing in our situation can change right now, we both need to get our shit together before that could even be a possablity.

It just sucks.

One good thing happend although my mother in her amazing ablity has made me feel like shit because it. I got I job working as a Props Assitant for a small company in Chicago. They can only pay me 150 dollars, but its not a full time gig or anything. I met with the Props Master today and we talked about it and I would be coming down on what is my current weekend. I can keep my job that I have and proably still have time to pick up another one. But I find myself wanting to travel, but I know I can't afford it. Or that I really should just save my money. There are two trips I want to make, one out to New York to see everyone that moved out there and one to Oregon to see the person that I proably shouldn't.

So I'm a mess. I can barely tell which way is up right now and it doesn't seem like its gonna get any easier any time soon.

Thanks for letting me rant.

Friday, November 17, 2006

Is steal this survey like steal this book and if so where is the part about getting free food??

So I'm taking Nicki's advice and stealing this survey.

1.Describe your favourite weather using a noun
Late night parking lot weather.

2.If you could be alive during any time period, which would you choose? Why?
There is one condition on the other time period thing, I get asprin. If I'm granted this condtion, I would proably say the period between 1660 and 1714, so much happened to change the world and the way we deal with it and percive it.

3.Your favourite line of poetry?
"I must down to the seas again, for the call of the running tide
Is a wild call and a clear call that may not be denied"
(John Masefield)

4.Book that you’ve read more than once:
The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe, I've read it so many times that i almost had it memorized as a kid.

5.Worst traveling memory.
It starts with a French rail stirke. Since I don't speak French I had no clue until a nice Frechman ( they do really exist) told me what was up. I caught a bus to Caen and crawled on a train to Paris ( I was trying to get to Belguim). This took until about 4 o'clock. I got to Paris and had to transfer stations ( the Gard du Nord to the Gard San Michel) but the rail strike extended to the metro so i had no clue how to get between the two stations. And then the information lady ( who was also on strike) was screaming Ferme/ Closed to me as I was trying to politley ask for help. Finally I looked her in the face and said "Its bad enough that I have to pay for my country fucking up right now ( it was May 2003) but I sure as hell don't feel like paying for yours fucking up as well." She looked at me stunned and the gentleman behind me cracked up. He helped me find a bus to the other train station and got me on the way (Wow two nice Frenchmen in one day. I got on a Belgium train and got into Ghent at about midnight and tried to call my cousin's cell phone. The number didn't work, so I called the local youth hostel, they were book so I called the other numbers I had in my guide book for loding. They were all booked. So i called the youth hostel back and begged for space in there lobby. They told me they couldn't but I could spend the night locked in the train station. This really didn't seem like a good plan, because a. I had all my shit on me and couldn't put somewhere safe and b. I was the only woman there with around 10 men. I told the people at the hostel that I really didn't feel safe doing that and they said that they couldn't help me. I hung up a yelled some choice words at the phone. At that time the station manager came by and took pity on me and helped me get a room for the night. The moral of this story is twofold I guess 1. Avoid the French rail system. 2. Book your room in advance. Wow that was a lot longer than I thought.

6.What fictional character do you most resemble?
I really don't know.... I'll get back to you on it.

7.Due to Bush not signing the Kyoto Treaty, the ice-caps have melted and the sea level has risen. What mountain range do you go live on?
The Watsatch in Utah, probaly up Logan Cayon maybe around White Pine Lake, one of my favorite camping spots. Plus at about 8,000 feet it hopefully won't be flooded.

8.If you had a daemon, what would it be? Name?
Hmmmmm.... either ferret or a bobcat. Maybe Roy.

9.Your favourite nail polish colour.
Deep Purple.

10.How do you express yourself creatively that pisses off the neighbors?
Since the neighbors are a little far off, right now I piss off my family by leaving works in progress on the kitchen counter to dry.

11.Dogs or cats?
Cats. Brillantly low mantience animals.

12.Did you think the Beast was less hot at the end of Beauty and the Beast?

13.What’s your comfort food?
Pud Thai or oddly sushi (I've become an addict in the last year)

14.What song do you sing in the shower?
What ever CD I bring in.

15.Do you name your electronics? Do tell?
My car is Fred (It might be turning into Fredgar but I'll let you know if it does), My computer is Myths of Creation, and the iPod is The Podling.

16.Have you ever wanted to leave a show at intermission? What was it?
Yes. Our House. Bands need to stop trying to turn there song catalogs into shows.

17.Your favourite word?
“Ananas" German for Pineapple.

18.Do you wear lipstick? Where do you wear it?
Occasionaly. Whenever and wherever I damn well feel like it.

19.What’s your favourite part about your favourite holiday?
The random Risk games that break out after Thanksgiving Dinner.

20.What kind of music are you listening to right now?
Sufjan Stevens. A friend in Milwaukee introduced me to him and I'm slowly falling in love with the song Chicago.

21.Have you ever streaked?

22.What’s your favourite way to travel?
Train. I still get to see things but I don't have to drive.

23.Have you ever gotten a scar from doing a load-in? Where and how?
Proably. I honstely don't remember.

24.Have you ever seen the aurora? How did it make you feel?
Yeah. In Stevens Point in October of 2004. Awestruck and at peace.

25.Your favourite way to end a piece of writing?
Kind of trailing off.

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

The survey strikes agian

I've been meaning to update, but right now it would just turn into a rant about why I'm not overly fond of Country Clubs. And I liked reading Nicki's and Amanda's surveys and well I've never done one... so... yeah.

3.Describe a typical Sunday for you:
Depends, if I'm not working get up around 11:00 get dressed, and watch football and knit.

4. Any odd routines you follow when you wake up?
The fact that I hit the snzoo button for about half an hour tends to piss people off.

5. If alcohol was banned worldwide, what would your reaction be?
I'd make my own.

6. When was the last time you cried?

7. Your CD collection is going to be repossessed. You may keep one.
Take the CDs but if you touch the Podling you die.

8. Do you believe world peace is possible?
God I hope so.

9. I'm a genie. Name your wish. (Money and Love cannot be granted).
I had a job a theatre for an entire season (9 months or so) and I want an apartment.

10. Name one thing about the OPPOSITE sex that automatically turns you off.

11. Name one thing about the SAME sex that automatically turns you off.
An inablity to function.

12. Speaking of SAME sex, what do you think of Brokeback Mountain?
Good movie, good story.

14. Where are you?
In my kitchen.

15. Leatherface is in the kitchen. Will you fight to victory, or hide?
Who the fuck is Leatherface?

16. Do you feel that people underestimate you?
My friends and co workers no, People in authority yes.

17. When you're in a bad mood, what will always put you in a better mood?
Painting, making a mask, pounding the shit out of something.

18. Honestly, do you talk about MySpace in real life?
No myspace for Chris... its scary.

19. Have you met someone online in person?

21. Do you believe minimum wage should be raised?
Yeah come on.

22. If someone at a bar gives you "the look" how do you respond to it
What's the look?? The look of love, hatered, like you might be a good dinner... Really can we get a bit more spefic here.

23. Desperation happens. Do you take advantage of desperate people?
Not unless they're in my imedate family and then only as a joke,

24. Pretend you're 15 deep in beers. Describe what you would be doing now?
Passing out.

25. Does everyone in your life know the real you?
THe people who stick around do, but most no.

26. What is something you're afraid of?
Medicority, having a boring life.

27. Pretend you took a hit out of a bong. Describe what you would be doing now?
Passing it to my brothers.

28. Have you ever had a beer bong?
Not that I remeber.

29. You have two weeks to live. Would you tell anyone?
My folks, so the understand when I max the credit card on plane tickets.

31. A band you thought was cool when you were 15:
Savoy Brown

32. You have a nightmare, who's the first person you think to call?
No one.

33. Wanna have kids before you're 30?$
Not really. I'm cool with playing the crazy aunt, but that's about it.

34. A memory from high school?:
I really don't remember much of high school. I was a little on the boring side.

35. Ever had a crush on one of your friend's parents?:
Not that I can think of.

36. Naughtiest thing you've done at work:

37. Do you look more like your mom, or your dad?

38. Something you've always wanted to learn how to do:

40. Where you'd like to be in 10 years?
I have no clue where I'm gonna be in 10 months let alone years.

41. Something you learned about life:
I have nothing phliospical to say save that I've found cookies are good.

42. What do you want for your birthday?
Go backpacking in Southern Utah.

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Bittersweet elections

So over all now that the elections are over I happy with the national results. We have a democratic majority in the house ( let's hope that they do something with it) and Rumsfeld is gone.

On the other hand I'm ashamed of my state and the way that the majority of my fellow Wisconsin citizens voted on both the Death penalty and the Civil Union ban. We have effectively shot our selves in the foot.

I'm upset because the Civil Union ban has screwed a disproporant amount of people over. And I'm confused namely because the people who voted for the ban are the ones who complain about the general promiscuity in our culture. If two people want to come together in a monogamous relationship what does it matter what sex they are. And the other thing that really annoys me is the fact that regardless of whether or not the ban passed gay marriage is illegal, this admendmant or lack thereof wasn't going change that. And the other bit of hyprocrsy was that this refereudum was sponsered by the party that was supposed to stand for less invasive goverment, which let's face it the Republican party does not.

The Death Plenalty being reinstated really pisses me off as well. For two reasons, 1. It doesn't derter the people commiting these crimes and 2. Its REALLY FUCKING EXPENSIVE. Do you know how much it cost to excute John Wayne Gacey ( a truly henious and repugnt human being)?? IT COST THE TAXPAYERS OF ILLINOIS 60 MILLION DOLLARS!!! That's to kill one man. Not only are there the montary costs but also it locks up the courts with the appeal process. I mean if your going to kill someone then you better give them the appeals but there are other things that I want our courts to be doing besides going through the appeals process for death row convicts. Like ruling that the Civil Unions ban is unconstitutional.

Well at least nationally things may be looking up.

Sunday, November 05, 2006


That's what it feels like. I'm cool with it I just know I need to motivate myself to actually do things. I've been sending my stuff out and getting some response , which is great. I'm just really lazy right now I'm not very happy that I'm doing that. But I think that I'll busy soon enough with out realizing it. Its still odd not to have projects or classwork. I keep thinking I have to do it and I'm surprised when I don't have to. Well Yeah, I'll try and get motivated next week.

Friday, October 20, 2006

Here Comes Johnny Yen Again....

I felt the need to post though there isn't much to talk about. Lear is winding down, we're on our last four performances and I'm glad to say that for the most part the show has been well recived, even by the New York Times. ITs been a long intense show. But I have enjoyed it a lot and learned a lot as well. I still haven't wrapped my head around the fact that as of Tuesday I will be unemployed. Its time to put this show to bed, but I will miss the weekly paychecks.

One of the things that I've discoverd with this show is that I miss actually making things. I really haven't created anything since August mainly do to the fact that I haven't had a space that I can mess up and leave that way. I swear the next place that I live ( that's mine) is going to have a workshop/studio that I can put all my props, masks, and art crap into a leave a bloody mess. I miss that.

But other than that I'm doing well even though everything is up in the air again. Its just my usual way of opperating these days.

Tuesday, September 26, 2006

And they lived happily ever after...

Several things in my life lately have lead me to question the mythical concept of happily ever after.

During a conversation I about our cultures obession with the begins of relationships I realized quite to my shock that I had no clue what happily ever after really meant. And I had a lot of reasons to think about that idea lately.

The first most obivous one is that Dave and I ended. I thought I may have found the story that ended with that mythical fragment instead of the usual it ended they talked, realized it wasn't working, and became good friends as the years progressed.

The second is I'm watching the implosion of two my friends relationship. One is madly in love and the other isn't ready or looking for anything that serious. One of my friends though she had found her happily ever as well.

But what is happily ever after?? Is it getting married?? Because if it is I know way too many marriages where that is not the fact. Is it finding that dream job that you've always wanted?? How many people are working there dream jobs while feeling hollow and empty? Is it truly knowing yourself no matter how painful??

Is happily ever after like the song at the start of the 2nd Act of Into the Woods where every one is bored out of their minds?? Because if it is then I don't want it. The two things I fear the most is to be boring and to be medicore.

Is that why so many stories and movies end when the relationship starts or pick up when it is all going to shit?? Is that why so many of us are at loss once a relationship exits the begining stages??

These questions plague me because I lack my own definition of this idea and the ones I've been presented with are just too damn vague.

Friday, September 22, 2006

It was Coffee and Coffee and Coffe somemore...

It is amazing how quickly a day can go from pretty good to shitty.
Today was one of those days.

I slpet late since I could nad I had been feeling sick the last three days. When I finally pulled myself out of bed I had about four hours before I had to be at work. So I took a train in to the city early to do some exploring. I got off at Fullerton and wandered through Linclon Park. It was nice, full of students ( De Paul is right there) and was a good place to walk. I grabed some sushi and jumped back on the train.

I sat and watch the city go by and few stops later a really attractive man sat right in front of me. It was one of those moments you love mass tranist, for the occsional piece of eye candy in and amgonst the creeps and assholes. I caught him looking and as I stood up I noticed he smiled at me. The train pulled into the station and I walked over shook his hand told him my name and then got off the train. It was one of those random moments that make life interesting.

I got to work ate my sushi and went about the show, showing my crew cover what needed to be done and in general enjoying talking with them. The show finshed and as I was doing the last of my post show jobs, two of my co-workers told me, as they were clocking out that the rest of the crew was going out for drinks at a bar. When I said good night to the rest of the crew they didn't even acknowlege me. I have no clue what the hell I did to annoy or upset them to the point of obviously excluding me. It stung. A lot. Espically when these people are some of the few I actually get to talk each day.

At least strangers are still kind to me.

Monday, September 11, 2006

Simpiclity Can be good too...

Hi all. Its been awhile since my last post and my life has been consumed by King Lear at the Goodman. Save the two days off I've literally gotten up commuted ( I live out in the suburbs) gone to work, gotten back on the train and slept. Lather, rinse, repeat. It has been interesting to work on a production where I'm being paid something that I can live off of. So in some respects its going well. In others I'm just plain worn out like everyone else on the show. I think we're all looking forward to opening and I'm enjoying the fact that I don't have to be at work until 2 tomrrow. I'll fill you all in about the show once I'm more coherent.

Sunday, August 27, 2006

I guess I was wrong....

I got the job in Chicago at the Goodman. So I start next Friday. So yeah things are going well.

Thursday, August 24, 2006

Stupid f-ing wedding. So last year I agreed to be my friend Bri's maid of honor and now it looks like its going to cost me a job. Its an overhire gig at the Goodman for the run of King Lear and it runs right through the wedding. And I don't think that it will be okay. ANd I really can't go back on my word. Yes my career is important but my friends and family are more so. So it looks like Chris almost gets hired again. Great. Now I'm stuck looking for another shit job so that I can make some money to get out of here, beacuse to be completly honest when I left in Febuary I hoped not to come back for a long time. A real long time. Well here's to trying to get back to where I want to be.

Monday, August 21, 2006

Why is it you always find where you belong when your trying to leave.

That pretty much sums it up. I'm back on the road and this time heading east. I went down to see my Aunt in Ashland ( Southern Oregon, home of the Oregon Shakespeare Festival)which was exactly what I needed. It was nice to have family around to talk to. Plus my Aunt Nancy (who is techincally my Great Aunt) is just one cool lady. She's somewhere in her 70s and is completely independant and extremely involed in the community, not only politcally but also she works a lot with the arts community there.
And I found out I really like Ashland, I now understand the stories I've heard about the people stopping for lunch and never leaving. The town is literally in the middle of nowhere (3 hours to Eugene and 6 to San Francsico) yet it manages to have a Shakespeare Fest that runs from Febuary to October, a Symphony, and several other smaller theatres. Its just this really cool extremly liberal town in beautiful moutians. I really want to live there some day.
Getting out of Oregon turned out to be a task, I've replaced 2 tires and a radiator hose. I swore to myself that if I had any troble leaving that state that I was going to take as a sign and turn around. But I didn't so I don't have to have that phone conversation with my parents.
So I'm exhausted in Salt Lake getting ready to sleep so I can continue back to Wisconsin.

Thursday, August 17, 2006

Traveling Merices

I don’t know why I haven’t shared this with you all yet but I feel like I should. It was given to me buy my friend Peg Koller before I left Wisconsin this February.

“Broken things have been on my mind lately because so much has broken in my life this year and in the lives of people I love- hearts, health, confidence…

Our preacher Veronica said recently that this is life’s nature: that lives and hearts get broken- those of people we know, those of people we’ll never meet. She said that the world sometimes feels like the waiting room of the emergency ward and that we who are more or less OK for now need to take the tenderest possible care of the more wounded people in the waiting room, until the healer comes. You sit with people she said, you bring them juice and graham crackers.

And then she went on vacation.

‘Traveling mercies’ the old people at our church said to her when she left. This is what they always say when one of us goes off for a while. Traveling Mercies: love the journey, God is with you, come home safe and sound.”

From Traveling Mercies by Anne Lamott, p 106

And surprisingly today some did at least seem to understand the second paragraph of this quote. I was getting my oil changed and finding out all that needed to be done and the guy was being level with me and we discovered that my front tire was about to shred. So I went back to the hotel to find out where the Les Schwab was. I was asking cause it’s the only tire place that I had heard anything about. I was going to the parking lot where I ran into this gentleman Mike, whom I had talked with when I was checking in. He and the hotel manager were talking and I was filling out paper work and chatting as well. He saw that I was visibly upset and asked what was wrong and I told him about the tire. The long and short of it was that he brought me to the local tire place and got me a used tired. It was only 25 bucks but he wouldn’t let me pay him back. He said it was nice to be able to help someone. Its moments like these that restore your faith in humanity.

As for Dave and me, we hashed it out. We both still love each other but right now each of our own lives is in such disarray it makes it really hard to be there for someone else like we should be able to. So were taking a break until shit gets shorted and then we’ll reassess and at that time if it doesn’t work then it doesn’t. We don’t want to throw away some that has the poetional to be good when we have our shit sorted.

So I’m glad I came out here and in general feel that I am in a place where I can move forward with life. Which was the entire point in coming out here. So all in all things have worked themselves out, with some help.

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

One Crazy Fucking Ride

So Utah's done. ANd in some ways it been great and in others it has been awful.

But the next three days are what's going to change things. Shit between Dave and I has been going downhill steadly for about a month now. And it seems after we hash shit out that each time it is over a lack of communication.

Well I'm hitting the end of my rope with it all and I'm driving out there to talk to him. I don't expect it to fix anything but I know for me that I have to do this. If I went East tomrrow things would just continue to detrieorate and quite frankly I want to deal with this and put it to bed. If something happens great, but if it doesn't at least I won't be saying "I wish I saw him one more time."

Mainly I want to see him cause then I'll know what's up. I figure that out from body lanuage etc. and before I make my decision I need to see him. I'll let you know what happens but needless to say its gonna be a little crazy for awhile.

Thursday, August 03, 2006

Long time no Post

So I decided to actually post even though things are going how I would like them to. Its been espically frustraiting as I'm not finding work ( or almost getting a job to be turned down at the last mintue) and quite frankly I'm not getting what I need out of my realtionship with Dave. And its not for a lack of trying which is really frustraiting. If one was going right I'm might have a prayer of dealing with the other, with out wanting to shoot myself or anyone else.
Other than that things have been cool. I've had a lot of fun hanging out with people here and enjoying the random adventures.
Like going out to a Chinese buffet and finding ourselves at Antalope Island in the middle of the Great Salt Lake. Which has to be one of the most beautifully desolate places I've ever been. Its this island covered in sage and small brush and no trees,in the middle of a lake that's so salty that it almost can't support life in it. I though growing up I would hate places like that. But I find that I don't. There is something so peaceful in it.
What happened was Christina, Jess and I had finshed eating and climbed into Jess's car (which she had just gotten the plates for after waiting for over a month). Jess wanted to go for a drive and we picked south. We thought we were going to Ogden until we realied we had never actually been to the Salt Lake and went. It was one of the better random road trips I've been on. Next week's adventure involes Indain Food and we'll see where that leads us.

Thursday, July 13, 2006

So what's next

So Opening night has come and gone and life is okay. RIght now my main worry/concern in life is what next? Where do I go from the Opera. I've been sending out my resumes etc for months and have gotten to the first round of interviews and then gotten the nice rejection email. I'm just getting nervous cause let's face it I would like to continue to work in theatre in the near future. Its been espically nerve wracking lately as two of my friends out here have recently landed great gigs. And I am truly happy for them. They are both really wonderful people as well as being really good at their jobs. So I wish them the best but it makes me nervous. It will be what it will be and I'll keep sending stuff out until I have a job, however long that takes. Its just a little discouraing right now.

Wednesday, July 05, 2006

And the War of 1812.... What the fuck was that??

Peter to Rob our resident Brit.

I have to say that wins as my all time favorite 4 of July quote and I wanted to share it with y'all.

So life in Utah progresses, we're currently in tech and will be for about the next week. Ah the joys of teching four shows at once. Its not that bad though considering the prop shop is in good shape and for the most part so we have time to do our notes and do them well. figaro is going well and so far I've had no major notes save the flower pot hat, which has been fun bit I have a soultion that will work. So I'm not too worrried,
But I gotta sleep now so that I'm fuctional tomrrow.

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

Thank Christ for the White Owl

... No really that bar saved me from several murders today.

So its that time again in the prop shop. Its the week before tech and the adds keep coming. Not that this really a problem but it just adds stress on to us. That and no one ( including me) cleans until it gets out of hand.

My problem today was that my usual work station got taken over. This is the place that I have to work on small props and to plan out what has to be done for my show. (I'm the show head for Marriage of Figaro one of the 4 shows we're doing this summer, which isn't bad save they all tech at the same time.) So I kept having to carve a new corner out of our messy shop to work.

What really pissed me off about this was that one of my co- workers, summaraly took contorl of the big communal work table. And this is the latest in a trend of not treating the rest of us in the shop with some respect. Listen sweetie, you're good, really good, but so am I and I do know shit too. I really hate being talked down to and I know its not on purpose but seriously its beigning to get to me. I'm trying to come up with a way to tell her this constructivly cause if I just shoot off my mouth when I'm annoyed it will just add to more tension in the shop.

So after work today I went over to the one local bar, the aforementioned White Owl, and got the Tuesday Night Speical ( a 40 oz beer and a damn good burger). And finally I was able to laugh with my friends out here ( who I happen to work with).

And thank god cause this means that tomrrow will be better and I'll be able to take care of the things that are bugging me with out pissing to many people off.

Friday, June 09, 2006

Rock Climbing is like Crack...

....but more expensive.

So I've started climbing again and I'm addicted. To the point where I want to take my food money and buy a membership to the gym cause it will be cheaper. But then there is the cayon about 5 minutes up the road where the climbing is free save the fact that I need to invest in gear. Damnit I hate being poor, but I love my job so in several ways I don't care about the pay save when the choice is between food, climbing and beer (its $12 for a 6 pack of the beer I like.) I'll proably end climbing outside a lot but I hope to improve by the end of the summer.
So I'll leave y'all with my new ID badge picture

Sunday, May 28, 2006

Climbing+ Rain

So life at UFOC is settleing in. It hasn't been to crazy yet but I'll have a lot more to do once we get the directors here. I'm really enjoying the way we're running the shop this year. Because of the commucation breakdown that occured last year we restructured things. So Bryce is our props master and is overseeing everyhting and the rest of us are working basically as Assitant Props Masters to him. So my major concern is getting Fiagro done on time. And as of the end of the 1st week of work I have 99% of the rehearsal props taken care of ( rehearsals start on June 10th) and managed to refinsh a table and learn how to gold leaf. So its been really good.
I've been having a lot fun in my free time too. Like today where we had a intro climbing day. I didn't get to far up the wall cause it was raining pretty hard. But it looks like we have like 8 climbers here this summer and some with extensive exprience. So I hopefully will be climbing a lot in my spare time. Other than that I've hanging out and meeting all the new people and catching up with returning people. So yeah life is good.

Thursday, May 18, 2006

More Coherent Utah

So this time I'm a little more coherent writing this. Last night's post was after 14 or so hours of driving on 3 hours of sleep. And dealing with a car that really tries to overheat going up hill. Just to clairfy for all of you, Dave and I are still together but he's not in Utah, which kinda sucks but we'll make do. That and myself and about 5 people (so far not everyone's here yet) are trying to get him to visit us. Hopefully he'll be able to.
But on to picturey goodness.

Gratuios Dave shot but then again this is how I started my trip.

The beautiful Colmbia River Gorge when its a rainforest. Which I love. But then....

Welcome to the not rain forest part of Oregon.

And the hill that Fred had to climb. It was pretty icky until we hit the Blue Moutains in Eastern Oregon

And know welcome to southren Idaho ... the most desolate place you'll ever drive through

And the last shot I have was of the sun going down knowing I had about 3 hours to go.

But I made it here and was really glad. So far its been pretty good if a little intense. I'm just not used to haveing so many people around, but its good. I'll post more later and I apolgize for how long this took. My internet just got fixed. So yeah that's my trip.

Utah again

So I made it to Utah after about 14 hours on the road. Leaving Dave behind this morning was on of the hardest things I’ve had to do. I’m still surprised I was able to get in the car and drive away from him. It didn’t really hit me that I was really leaving until Pendelton. And from there to Bosie I was a wreck. After Bosie I just hit the point where it would be a longer distance to turn around so I had to keep on going. So I got here and the werid thing is that I’m in Dave’s old apartment though not his room. I’m living with Magic Matt and Cassie which rocks even though we’re in the basement. I have a tv and internet. I would have loved to live Christina and Maggie again but this should be a good living arragment though the apartment needs some work, like towel rack’s in my bathroom so I’ll let Gary ( the guy in charge of this ) know about it tomorrow. Its just werid to be here without Dave. I hope that I get to see him before August. Yeah I’ll post pics of my drive tomorrow. Talk to y’all then. And Matt I’m gonna try my luck with one of the mountains here. However I want to see your pictures of Mt. Hood. Well, I’m gonna go sleep now.

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Mt. Hood

So yesterday I finally got to go meet a volcanoe, and in the process check out a really beautiful lodge. I think Dave had to psyically remove from it. That and it was on huge moutian. I never realised how high 11,000 feet is. So since I now can take digtal pictures I thought I share Mt. Hood with you all.

Thursday, May 11, 2006

A Good Quote

Yeah, well, I've got a dream too. But its about singing and dancing and making people happy. That's kind of dream that gets better the more people you share it with. And well, I've found a whole bunch of friends who have the same dream. And it kind of makes us like a family.

Tuesday, May 09, 2006


So I'm in the middle of a condrum that I don't find myself in. I have two potiental jobs for next fall, one is an internship with a Childern's Theatre, and the other is a Props Artisan Job at the University of Delware. My problem is that the Childern's Theatre wants an answer and I haven't heard back from Delware. The job with the Chlidren's Theatre pays $100 a week and I'm also the Scenic artist which I'm not sure I'm entirely comfortable with. The job in Delware is to assit the Graduate Props Masters as well as help organize the stock etc. Its a nine month contract that is salired and it has benfits which really has my interest. And I think i have a chance to get it. But I don't want to shoot myself in the foot and end up with no work next fall. So i'm sitting here trying to figure out what to do. Normally I only get one potental offer so I take it but now I have to wonder if I keep hunting or take what has been offered.

Friday, April 14, 2006

The American Dream involes Cheese??

So I finally got I job that I'll have to give notice for in about 3 weeks. Eh such is life. However its a pizza joint in town that is pretty fun. The place I'm working is called American Dream Pizza and I'm in the Prep kitchen which is kinda fun espiscally since they let me use the hunge industrail mixer to make cookie. Its a local independant place that's motto ( or what's on the back of the shirts) is "Music, Art, Beer, Pizza." so I dig it. Plus people are gernerally laid back and pretty cool. So it will be fun while I'm here.

Wednesday, April 12, 2006

I guess Thorton Wilder doesn't suck

Let me explain, I HATE Our Town. I've worked on two productions and whie one was in high school the other was at Bay Street Theatre with an extremly talented cast and amazing designers. The set ( yes a set, it was a back wall and a floor) is still one of my favorites, it was a wood floor where the planking radiated from a centeral point and contiued up the wall with gaps between the wall planks to create a really cool lightbox which ended one of the acts with a sunset. And yet with all these things I still hated it. I never got the point of what Wilder was doing because I thought that it was the characters that mattered. That's not how it works, the ideas are important and the characters are just vechiles for them.
What made me realize this was not rereading Our Town, but reading another Wilder play The Skin of Our Teeth. Which sets you to care about the idea, primarlly the fact that no matter what the human race seems to survive and rebulid, but just barely. What makes it interesting is the first two acts take place before the impeding "end of the world" ( the ice age and the Biblical Flood respectivly) and the thrid takes place after it ( a pre nuclear era post aplolitic war ( the play was published in 1942). We see all these events in through the Antrobus family which is made up of Mr. and Mrs. Antrobus, there two childern ( Henry and Gladys) and their maid Sabina. Its interesting cause it is a juxapostion of mid 20th century anachorism mixed in with thing like inventing the wheel and the alphabet. And the way that Wilder wrote it makes it apparent (at least to me) that the characters don't matter, in fact they don't change at all until the thrid act. Even so it made and interesting read and I would love to see it performed. So yeah I guess I need to reread Our Town and past the veener of the play that sentmentalizes life at the start of the 20th century. So I guess that Thorton Wilder doesn't suck.

Thursday, April 06, 2006

Why do they call it burning a CD when you don't light it on fire?

I mean fire is what I think of when things are burning, or least extremly intense heat. The reason this question is floating around in my brain is due to the fact that I have burned a shit ton of CDs today.
No I haven't stolen a ton of music, they're picure CDs that I'm sending out with my resumes and cover letters. After talking to a lot of people at USITT the general consicenes was along with a resume and cover letter a web site or some other digtal version of your portfolio is a good idea. So I went into mine selceted what I wanted and have been fighting with windows ever since. (I can hear the Mac users among us saying "See Macs are way cooler than PCs.") Now while Macs have there moments, if I did have one I would have a lot harder time playing games like Kirby's Dreamland etc. And that would make me a sad panda. The reason that Windows is pissing me off is the fact that it has decided that best way to organzie my pictures is not the way I set them up but in Alphabetical order. So finally everything went into a folder by show or class and went off in the mail. Well at least four of them did. Hopefully I'll be hearing something soonish. But I must return to the dread world of the cover letter. Ugh I hate reworking these damn things.

Thursday, March 30, 2006

Woo HOO More Interviews

Except that they're the good kind this time.
So I've been spending my time here at USITT learning a lot about this industry and also feeling kindsd of out of the loop. Now I don't mean this skill wise, I feel that I know a good deal ( not that I can't learn more) but I feel lost when people are talking about important designers. When I hear there names, I have no clue who they are or what they have done, all I can tell is that they are imporant. I normally realize this because of the way that people say there names etc. For instance yesterdy there was this session with the Scenic Designer, the TDs (there are 2 of them) and one of the Props Master of Actors Theatre of Louisville. Now I went since this particaluar session was about how they dealt with the Humana New Play Festival. The thing about the Festival is besides being New Plays is that it is rep. So for the month of March they are running 7 shows in rep. Now since I'm working rep again this summer, I was more interested in how they do things ( this is how I think) and some of the soultions that they have come up with to deal with change overs etc. Well that's not what 99% of the people in the room were interested in. They were interested in what Paul Owen the Scenic Designer had to say. Over the cousre of the hour and a half I realized that this man had been a driving force in American Scene Design for at least the last 30 years and that I had never heard of him. So I went hmm, who else here is important that I don't know about. I've found what I need to learn next, I need to learn about all of these people who came before the current generation of designers and techincans.
Other than that realization in that part of my knowlege its been pretty good. Yesterday I got to attend this great session on paper props and learned about a lot of good rescorues, (induling this one guy Herb who in his retirement is makeing a collection of paper good available via Cd) and some new techniques. I also was able to let the people there know about the water color paper trick with plotters as well as about the Tate online. Then I got to hear Jon Jory ( the retired (I think) Artisic Director of Actors Theatre) speak. Which was great. The other really cool session i got to go to was about Handmade Scene Painting tools and it was done by Rachel Keebler the head of Colbalt Studios, who is really nice and had a lot of good info. ( By the way she was giving out drawings of the tools and if people want them I am willing to make copies and mail them.) And I ran into people that I worked with last summer and some that I will be working with again. And got hugs so that was great.
Today I didn't go to that many sessions. The first one I wanted to go had too many people , so I didn't get in but I did get to wander around the stage expo and check stuff out. And then after some debate I hiked over to the Marriot and signed up for interviews (there was a fee involed which lead to the debate). So tomrrow is a portfolio review and 4 interviews. So hopefully I'll get some work out of this. ANd then I finally got into this session about Non tradtional product use. It was awesome. The two presenters talked about what they had found and opened up the floor, there must have been at least 150 people there all with a lot of good knowlege about werid things used in productions. Finally it was decided that some how we needed to make a list and add to via email so hopefullu I'll get that info to whomever is interest. Oh and for those Scene Painters amongst us, if you add some lysol or Pine Solv to your paint it will keep the bactriea out and keep it from going bad as fast. And then the really cool thing that happened was that I got to go on a tour of Actors Theatre and I got to meet and talk with one of the Props Masters there. He was really nice and answered my questions about how do you deal with rep and delicate props and stuff like that. So it was really cool, but I need to eat and then head on back over. I'll let you all know what happens.

Friday, March 24, 2006

I finally got an Interview

I wanted to post something a little more upbeat than the last couple of posts. I got a job interview at one of the local coffee shops. :) About fucking time. So yeah for small victories.

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

The upside

After my slightly frustrated post I do have to say ther was at least one bright note. I got some girscout cookies mailed from home. You know sometimes Moms just rock.
So yeah things have been interesting here. Unfourtunaly the housing situation has fallen apart again but on the upside Dave's parents let me know that they didn't mind having me around, so due to there graciousness I have a place to live. Not that that means I'm not looking for somewhere, but trying to find a place for 2 months is next to impossible so I'm cocentrating on finding a job until May. ANy job. Which is hard to doin Corvallis. I've been surprised how many fast food joints/ coffee shops/ and stores want a resume. I'm sorry I only really want to go to the trouble of handing someone a resume if they are offering a salary and maybe benfits. Not a part time hourly wage thing. So its been frustraiting. On the other hand the best application I've been handed has been a paper plate from this place American Dream Pizza. They said to put my info on it anyway I wanted to, so out can the art supplies. They liked it and said they get back to me after OSU spring break ( next week). So hopefully.
In other news I'm getting to go to USITT so that should be rather interesting and hopefully help me get a job in the fall. I'm looking forward to it. So that's what's up in the world of the Chris.

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

Progress Has Been F%@$* made

So finally after a decent streah of frustration I might have a place to live soon! ( Does happy dance in coffee shop)
Dave and I went up to Portland on Monday to look at some leads and visit Shannon Buss who is living there now. Well unlike Seattle which was a total bomb, all of the places we went to had space avaiable. The first place was way too expensive so that go nixed rather quick. The second we went to was out a bit from downtown but right next to this huge beautiful park. There was a part that was left like the woods from around here and it was so beautiful, just lush and green and piney. I really liked it. And the apartment is month to month for 500 a month, which is dirt cheap when you split it between 2 people. The only other thing is that it is kinda of got this 70s chic thing going down but I'm willing to forgive that.
So after that we drove up to where Shannon is living. She lives in this part of Portland that is kinda mix of State Street and Brady Street. Its kinda cool and electic and I rather like it. It is also about 5 blocks from Powell's (the bookstore I was gushing about in an earlier post). And it turns out her buldign ( which incidently is month to month) is renting. Albeit it is for 650 a month but the location is better and the apartments are nicer.
We enjoyed are visit with Shannon a lot. She and I kept going "this is soo werid.." its odd to see someone from Wisconsin in Oregon. I'm glad to say that she is doing well and seems to be having fun. Her apartment is really cute and so is her cat Ditto, who provided me with much needed cat thearpy. ( Namely cause Dave's Dad's cats still refuse to talk to me or let me touch them). So things are moving and hopefully I will be too. :)

Sunday, February 26, 2006

Help I lost my email adresses

This is a plea for help. Since my Point account went down months before I expected it I lost my email adresses. Can you guys either leave them in the comments or email them to me at my yahoo account. Oh and Sarah let Travis know "Yes but no sprinkles. For every sprinkle I find, I shall kill you!"

Thursday, February 23, 2006

A Public Service Annocment

So since I didn't change my password ( I couldn't figure out how to while off campus) My Point email is deceased. So if you for any random reason want to email me, my address is Thought I should let you all know.
So far I'm finding my houseing situation to be quite frustrating. Dave and I went up to Seattle and visited the places that we had made appointments with. Apparently they were willing to deal with the possiblity of a short term lease on the phone but in person they either jacked prices up much higher than they had intainally said or all of the sudden they didn't accomidate short term leases. Oh well on to round two which now also inculdes Portland. Which has the most amazing independant book store I have ever seen. It's called Powells and its HUGE, as in 1 city block and 3 stories on top of that. Its sci-fi fansty section which is the size of most regular indie bookstores. Its Theatre section was okay, play wise great but tech theatre books was one small shelf, so I was kind of dissapointed. ANd then I found an out of print kids book I had been searching for for years so my faith was restored. The reason I'm letting you all know about this is that they have a web site So if your looking for out of print books this may be a good rescource. So yeah not much else is going on here. Life is progressing the way it should.

Monday, February 13, 2006

Progress Can be Slow and Painful but in the end it tends to Be Worth It

Well I figured I should let y'all know what's up since its been awhile. Life has been going pretty good save attempting to get Dave to look at Apts. and to apply to Utah again. Well we're roadtripping to Seattle tomrrow to look at places so that issue is semi solved ( I'll be happy when we have an address). And the heavens opened forth and Dave said in front of me and his dad that he would be applying again. So that makes me happy (I'll be extremly happy if he gets a contract). Its hard to get Dave to do something espeically when constant poking and proding is the worst way to get him to do anyhting. I realized this early on but man I ain't paitent and dealing with him sometimes involes more paitence than I have. But other than those two issuse things are good. Not much else is going on save my on going quest to pet Dave's parents neuortic cats. Miko will let me look at him but if either Dave or I get near him he's gone. Which is sad cause he's a big black and white long hair that looks quite petable. Ebony will occasionally talk to me but she's totally not interested in letting me closer than three feet. So that's frustraitng although she wins the award of smallest cat with the biggest eyest that I've met. So that's all for the update. Life is progressing.

Monday, February 06, 2006

I'm sitting in my cofee shop and a Ron Jermy look alike parked in front of me

Okay this is post so that I could have a witty title for once. Cause the title is true. An older heavier version of Ron Jermy just parked his obnoxiously huge ancient Land Crusier right outside the coffee shop window. I guess I'm not annoyed that its a huge truck cause I've now seen parts of the world where these types of vechiles are necessary and while Corvaillis isn't one of those places, this truck looks like its from somewhere that a truck like that is actually used for its intend purpose ( handling roads that aren't paved) rather than hauling the kids to soccer games. So yeah that's my rational for not hissing at the moment.
Oh and I've found a damn funny mascot. OSU is the Beavers, and the mascot is an Angery Beaver. Who the hell thought this was a good idea, I mean 1. Beavers aren't frightening, in fact they are kinda cute and make good hats and 2. It's a fucking college campus and we are not the first generation to Beaver as a double entandre and finally 3. What noise does an Angry Beaver make, Dave and I have been trying to figure this out. I wonder what would happen if I showed up at a football game wearing a stuffed animal beaver on my head, or better yet a real live beaver. Or maybe i should just get a beaver skin hat and wear it.

Sunday, February 05, 2006

I'm in Oregon and the Sun is out???

Hello all.
Well Dave and I managed to survie the cross country trek and have arivved in Corvallis, which is where Dave is from. The trip was pretty cool.
Here is a state by state summery of what I have discovered. North Dakota is really fucking boring but on 94 you get to go through some of the badlands so it kind of made up for some of the sheer boredom. Montana is beautiful. Andy I don't know where you are from in Montana but I think I can see why you were none to happy about moving to Nakoosa(sp). Idaho after you get out of the moutians is flat and desolate. Eastern Oregon, right when you go over the border has some of the most amazingly desotlatly beautiful moutains I've been through. And the Columbia Gorge when it goes through the Cascades looks like something out of Lord Of the Rings. So over all there was some pretty cool shit espeically in Oregon and Montans
So now I'm in Corvallis for about a week and I've discovered two great thinggs 1. This town loves coffee and coffee shops (I'm curently writing this post from one) and 2. apparently Febuary equals no winter coat weather. I can say this with some certainity since I'm down by the OSU campus and no one is outside sunning themselves ( I walked through frat and sority land to get here). I really like this concept. I went on a three hour (importu) walking tour of Coravallis with Dave last night and didn't really need more than a coat. WTF?? ANd today when I decided that I needed cofee ( or actually the chai I ended up getting) I wore a sweat shirt. I am so fucking confused. Why didn't I know that Febuary doesn't have be living on Hoth. So yeah there's my rambly post. I promise more cohrence with the next one.
P.S. Laura- the enchilada's tasted great. :)

I'm in Oregon and the Sun is out???

Hello all.
Well Dave and I managed to survie the cross country trek and have arivved in Corvallis, which is where Dave is from. The trip was pretty cool.
Here is a state by state summery of what I have discovered. North Dakota is really fucking boring but on 94 you get to go through some of the badlands so it kind of made up for some of the sheer boredom. Montana is beautiful. Andy I don't know where you are from in Montana but I think I can see why you were none to happy about moving to Nakoosa(sp). Idaho after you get out of the moutians is flat and desolate. Eastern Oregon, right when you go over the border has some of the most amazingly desotlatly beautiful moutains I've been through. And the Columbia Gorge when it goes through the Cascades looks like something out of Lord Of the Rings. So over all there was some pretty cool shit espeically in Oregon and Montans
So now I'm in Corvallis for about a week and I've discovered two great thinggs 1. This town loves coffee and coffee shops (I'm curently writing this post from one) and 2. apparently Febuary equals no winter coat weather. I can say this with some certainity since I'm down by the OSU campus and no one is outside sunning themselves ( I walked through frat and sority land to get here). I really like this concept. I went on a three hour (importu) walking tour of Coravallis with Dave last night and didn't really need more than a coat. WTF?? ANd today when I decided that I needed cofee ( or actually the chai I ended up getting) I wore a sweat shirt. I am so fucking confused. Why didn't I know that Febuary doesn't have be living on Hoth. So yeah there's my rambly post. I promise more cohrence with the next one.
P.S. Laura- the enchilada's tasted great. :)

Saturday, January 28, 2006

random update

Iwish was good at post titles but eh whatcha gonna do. Anywho I thought I would let y'all know what was up in me end of the universe. Which is packing. Its kinda of hard to pack your life into three rubbermades, a hiking backpack and 2 tool boxes ( one actually has just art supplies). But I think I may have succeeded. Woot! So departure is imment and I really haven't proceesed that yet. Hell, I'm picking Dave up on Monday and I haven't processed that. Its a good thing I'm 99% packed so I can now clean out my car. ( The donut's have not been replaced but I think the nerf darts are gaining secientence) So yea and Nicki and Sam please don't kill any guinea pigs on my account. ( not that I thought you would). So Now its time for a shower and a trip to the Miller Brewery with Jenny :)

Monday, January 23, 2006

Another great time waster

Good Job, Youre in Ravenclaw with Cho Chang, Luna Lovegood, and Padma Patil. Your colors are bronze and blue. This House is haunted by the Grey Lady, and lead by Professor Flitwick. Said the Sorting Hat in the first year, Well teach those whose intelligence is surest Will you rate?? :)

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Jumping on the Bandwagon

You are Form 0, Phoenix: The Eternal.

"And The Phoenix's cycle had reached zenith, so he consumed himself in fire. He emerged from his own ashes, to be forever immortal."

Some examples of the Phoenix Form are Quetzalcoatl (Aztec), Shiva (Indian), and Ra-Atum (Egyptian).
The Phoenix is associated with the concept of life, the number 0, and the element of fire.
His sign is the eclipsed sun.

As a member of Form 0, you are a determined individual. You tend to keep your sense of optomism, even through tough times and have a positive outlook on most situations. You have a way of looking at going through life as a journey that you can constantly learn from. Phoenixes are the best friends to have because they cheer people up easily.

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Jumping on the Bandwagon

Friday, January 20, 2006

Getting Life In Order

So after about a two week hiatus, where I wasn't sure what the fuck was going on in my life. I've got things moving again. I finally made the decision that time was fast apporaching that job or no job I needed to leave and start moving again. While being home can be really nice it feels like I am stuck in statis.
Plus I really fucking miss Dave. Its odd. I've spent some good chunks of time a way from past boyfriends, for instance there was once I was in Europe for six weeks and emailed my boyfriend at the time once and I think I may have called as well. Now don't get me wrong, I;ve missed these previous men when we were seperated but not like this. And there is really no good reason that I can come up with of why I should stay here and wait around. I'm not doing much and its kinda of a pain to get work when you could be leaving soon. Plus I had most of my stuff in the garage still and there is a limit to my parents graciouness on that matter.
So I've decided that I need to set out soon. And of all the cities that Dave and I looked at Seattle was second for us both ( San Francisco was my first choice, but its too expensive, and Denver was his, but its too fucking cold). So Seattle it is. I've found some places that are with in our price range and there appears to be work out there in jobs that will help me pay the rent.
So I pitched this to my folks and was surprised how cool they were with the whole thing. The only thing they wanted was to figure out if one of them could drive with me. They couldn't but I talked Dave into coming out (I'm helping with the ticket) and to drive with me. So if all goes according to plan ( God I hope so) I should be leaving WI sometime around Feb 1st. Well yeah.

Sunday, January 15, 2006

So I went back downstairs and expressed my annoyance to Leah about my Dad and he overheard and I explained to him why I said what I said. He let her stay up and explained it wasn't cause he didn't trust her but becuase he wanted to make sure she got some sleep. I'm glad he explained why. He's gotta remember when your 16 it sounds like he doesn't trust her.
So I stayed up and gave her the heads up on some of reasons why my folks function they way they do cause I don't think any one has. Which is important. We all understand to a certian extent why things are they way that they are but since she's new here and doesn't know it may make things confusing. So I hope it helped and I told her if shit was pissing her off she could come talk to me. I don't know if she will but it seems like we get along pretty well. I can get her to laugh so that's good. So yeah, this is gonna be rough for all concerned while we all figrue out why we all work the way we do. And maybe we all need to be willing to fill others in on why.

I'm Gonna Shoot my dad

So okay I generally get along with my dad but lately he's been driving me nuts. Namely cause he's trying to parent the hell out of Leah, who is the young lady that's living with us, my sister. The problem is that he doesn't seem to be able to do it with out being a total dickhead. The reason i'm saying this the fact that he was content to let her hang out downstairs when I was up. But the moment I went to bed and he heard me closing the door he went to go tell it was time for bed. Jesus she's not gonna light the house on fire or have an orgy in the living room. I know this is how he shows that he is concerned etc but it comes of like he doesn't trust her. If I had known I would have slept on the fucking couch so she could just hang out. He doesn't have any reason not to trust her and that's proably what it feels like to her. God he just needs to trust her. Yeah she's got her issues but this ain't how you deal with them. He did the same thing to Mike and aleinated him and he's gonna do it to her. He's creating a situation that can lead to bad things.
GRRRRRRRR! Maybe I'll go back down and let her hang out.

Thursday, January 12, 2006

I like sun

Just a quick post here. Today was the first time in 17 days that we had a full day of sunshine. I forgot how pretty it is around here when it is sunny. I actually got up at reasonable hour and got things accomplished. It just was nice.
Oh and anohter note when making steamed dumplings make sure to spray the steamer with non-stick spray first.

Friday, January 06, 2006

Employed.... In May

So I have a job, unfourtunatly its not until May. I'll be going to work at the Opera in Logan for another summer and I'm looking quite forward to it. It is nice to know that I will have a job in the foreseeable future. The next step is to find one for the time between now and May. Until then I'll volunteer over at St. Johns. I'm helping some of the seniors with their design idea for there midwinter ball. The theme is USO dance in a World WAr II Airplane hanger. The space, their gym is perfect as its roof imtates that shape. And there is a huge flag at one end. So hopefullY I can convince these guys to put the stage and the band there and use the flag as a backdrop. I found out that they wanted use some posters from the era so I'm gonna take a look and see if I can present them with some cool options that they can use if they want to. It sounds like they have thought their concept through and I'll be helping with implempntation. The problems 1. I can't swear there since it is a school which as all of you know is a massive problem for me and 2. I have to be really careful with what I wear, since this a conservatie enivorment and its a bunch of teenage boys that don;t see chicks very often. Oh god what have I gotten myself into. It should be interesting.

Wednesday, January 04, 2006

Notes On Angels

So just a quick note don't start watching Peristroka ( Part 2 of Angels In America) with some one who has not seen Meliuium Approaches. Too much explaining is involed in this.
I found it very interesting how the end speech became this whole thing about the gay community beigin accepted and AIDS needing to be dealt with. It got far more preachy than I remember the play being. It didn't resonate the same way the end of the play did with me. Over all I rather liked how it was done save the end and the fact that Heaven resembled Italy ( where it was shot). The Image of San Francisco was I felt too firmly established to be ignored or turned into Northern ITaly. Anyho I just wanted to share that with you as we all haven't gotten to watch it together...yet.

Tuesday, January 03, 2006


So after my ranting curse ridden post I am glad to say I'm doing a bit better. I have found ways to keep myself occupodo. I am going to be voulnteering sometime up at the local miltary academcy ( I'm friends with the libarian). I'm going to be hopefully helping some of the cadets plan there midwinter ball decoations, the theme, WWII. This will be very interesting. Or I'm gonna work in the archives. Hey it will get me out of the house.
Other than that, I've got a new mask going, based off a piece of art from Mesopotamia, that to my best knowlege was stolen several years ago when the Iraq museum in Baghdad was looted. So I'm attemping to make it. It's part of a sersis, I have this theatre periods book that I'm working my way through and in my boredom and expansive amount of free time, I'm gonna try to do a mask for each period covered in the book that is from a piece of art from the period. I'm not sure what I'm gonna do with them but it should be interesting. I'll try and post my results here with a picture of the art work that inspired it.
And my other item to keep me throughly occupied is a Photoshop book called classroom in a book. Its published by Adobe so hopefully it will know what it is talking about. If I learn anything cool or pretenit, I post it here.
But I'm doing better, sitting in the kitchen with my tea listening to Jackson Browne. Time to peal the glue off my hands and go make friends with Photoshop.

Monday, January 02, 2006

I really can't fucking stand this. I hate beign here. There is nothing at all for me here. My one friend has a kid so I can't even talk her about most this shit cause her concerns are around her kid. And she can't really relate to what I'm going through becuse her whole life is fastforwarded into someone in her thrities. SO we either talk about Ayden or books. And I like books but right fucking now I don't give a rats ass. There is nothing to do. I hate having this much free time cuase I have no clue what the fuck to do with it. And if i had money for gas I go visit people but I don't nad I'm down to a quater tank and I wasted about half of it just driving cause I had to get away from here. ANd in the end I just had to come back cause were the fuck else am I gonna go you know.
I know that what I really need to do is load my car and just pick a direction and start drving not really caring about the destination. I just need to start something new rather than being stuck in fucking limbo.

Sunday, January 01, 2006

This werid but I'm just gonna type and see what comes out. total stream of concious, well here goes.
I love my family but home isn't home any more. It somewhere other than here and I know that. Its hard to be back, I mean right now I'm living in the guest room/ sewing room. There is no where for me to have as my own, with my own things. Its harder than I thought. Its frustrigating to sit a wait, which is what I'm doing. As soon as the cover letters go out there's nothing for me to do but wait and see if maybe something else comes up on artsearch.
I've been home a week and I'm already climbing up the walls with boredom. I know have all this free time but with nothing to do I have no motivation to get things accomplished
I think that thing that scard/ bothered me so much when Dave was just sleeping and keeping werid hours was the fact that it was a foreshadowing of my life right after graduation. I need something to motivate me. to make me move. I'm hoping to hell that I get some work through temp agnecies etc. other wise I might need to be preid from the celing by the 20th .
I think the reason I like About A Boy ( I just finshed it) is the fact that there is a real catharis something that changes. It might be watching the breaking apart of these characters is something we all expriecne. The breaking apart of ourself to come back to gether in one new cohisive unit that somehow resembles what came be fore but is still instricatally different. I guess that shift is happening to me now. THings are breaking down and reforming and God I'll be glad when things have colesed angain.