Wednesday, December 21, 2005

The sky was the Limit/ Into the Great Wide open/ Under the skys of blue

And its over. Another life come and gone. Time to shed the skin and become the next incarnation of me.
The last time I had a life end was 2 and half years and several thousand miles ago. I cannot belive the people and the places that I have seen and the impact they have had on my life in these last couple of years. And how many of them were totally unexpected. And how greatful I am that I have had a chance to come into these peoples lives.
Many of the people that I knew here I know that I won't see again, but that's okay. I float in and out of peoples lives and that's who I am. I said my good byes and I'm floating along. Excpet for those speical occasions where I land with a thump and decide to stay. Most of you reading this know you're in the thump catagory, in fact all of you are. You don't get rid of me that easy. When I thump and like it, it is very hard to get me to move.
Oddly the strangest thing is a sense of readiness. The obligations are done and now, and now it is time to start living, how I want to. Looking at it, it is rather scary, I don't really have a plan, I'm jumping in and seeing if I can swim. For a long time this has scared me shitless and as of last Friday I'm no longer afraid. I know this is what I have to do and I'm fine. And I am ready

Saturday, December 17, 2005

Ah studying

So i'm taking a break from studying for exams (well wrting my theatre history one) and wasting time on the web. I just don't want to do this but I know that I should. Its just the last final push and then I'm done. Gone, its good i think. I've fallen in to one of my bad habits latley which is not calling people when i should. I gotta get better at this cause once I leave that's how I;m gonna keep in touch, and well with this thing. Okay rambling musing over with on to defining realism.

Friday, December 16, 2005

I'm Free, I'm Free and Freedom tastes of Reality

SO for those of who do not know the above quote is from Tommy by The Who, which if you haven't listened to you need to. Also listen to Quadrophinia at full volume if you haven't
I had my portfolio review and for the first time since I have been here, I was the one in bloody control of the damn thing. WE talked very briefly about this semester and I was able to explain to my profs that I'm good when I'm doing one thing at a time, i.e. I teched and opened 4 shows in 2 weeks this summer when the props master did not communicate well to his staff and I was no where as stressed as I have been when I am at school and dealing with one production. There comment was that I shouldn't do that in the future and my brain went, "Well duh." but instead my mouth said that I realized that and was not about to put myself in that situation again. Plus I think they were finally impressed with my work as a Props person, which is what I have sorta transformed into over the last year and a half. I still enjoy Stage management but damn it I get to play glue, spray paint, power tools and Photoshop. Also if could've been the fact that I had done seven shows since last May either as a props person or on a Stage Management team. So I was damn proud of myself. I left feeling good.
Then came the weird part, I went and got my cap, gown and tassel. It was all the sudden real. This part of my life is over, which is fine, and I realized how much I would miss the people I had met here. Now some of them have moved on ( most of you who are reading this post) but I am leaving behind some really good friends. I know I won't fall out of contact with them, the ones that really matter, I've managed to keep intouch with most of the family either through the phone or electronically. ( by the way Nicki, thanks for introducing us to the wonderful world of the blogg.)
So I'm ready for the next step. I don't know where I'm going next save the general direction, west. It will be a crazy adventure plus I have company so that will be fun, and at least one friend who is with in a thousand miles. Miss Shannon Buss is moving to Portland OR so I'll proably go and visit her when I can afford to.
So I'm now free from obligation and I'm ready to start living on my own terms. I know it won't be easy, but hey when do I ever do take the easy route.

PS. Nicki, Dave is quite real, I promise, ask Sarah, Greta, Humphery, Andy or very soon Travis. They will have met him.

Monday, December 12, 2005

One Week Left

Wow... Its werid to think that in one week my academic career will for all intents and purposes be over. For as long as I have remebered I've been a student. And now I'm on to being something else. I realize now how fucking scary this is. The one thing that has always been part of my identy is going away. After I finsh Kyle's exam I will never have to write a paper like that again. Is that the columination of all my English classes, a theatre history final that I don't really care about? Werid.
After this week is over I need to figure out the next step. I'm kind of torn about it. I know I want to go west, to go and live somewhere that I've really never been before. But I need to figure out a time plan. The thing that is complicating this is the fact that I will want to see Dave. So part of me wants to get out there asap but the other part says that I should take the time and plan and go out around the middle of January or the end. I'll have to muse it over but I'll figure it out fast. I think airing on the side of planning might be a good idea and I don't think Dave will mind too much and if he does he's gonna have to deal.
Well I need to work on my senoir, bullshit, project. Time to label the prop shop.
Chris :)

Sunday, December 04, 2005


Well I've spent y day since strike job hunting. Grrr. It just is a long process of going to website after website and trying to find where they have stuck the job postings, if they have any. Some of these bastards are really inventive where they hide them. I've found several stuck in audition info. Oh well.
Life is going along well here. THe last week has been me coming to grips that this part of my life is ending and relizing I will miss it. Even though it has driven me near crazy. I've started to slowly say goodbye to my life here and who I was.
It is time to go do something crazy and be reborn. For those of you who don't know, in a couple of weeks I will have packed my life up and headed west. I'm sure where to next, basically where I can get work until May and then if all goes according to plan, I'll be returning to Utah. But basically I am plunging into the unknowen and seeing what's there. I have faith that if nothing else it will be interesting. Wish me luck. :)

Monday, November 21, 2005

Am I just a comlpete fuck up?

So today is one of those days that I always seem to have in Stevens Point (aka, living hell). I feel like I am a complete moron. I woke up late for makeup, late enough that it was pointless to come in. So I went in to talk to Susan and got the whole what the hell is it now Chris, that I get seem to get from all my professors here. I feel like they feel that I can't do this and really as far as I am concerned there are about two things in this world that I am good at. And theatre is one of them. If they don't think I can succed out there I need to fucking know. I know that I can namely cause i get enough rest and I only have to focus on one fucking aspect of my life, work, not work and school which over the course of the last two and half years I have learned doesn't seem to work. I'm sick of feeling like the moron which is why when I'm here I apologize so fucking much. I want this to be done which is not how I wanted to feel about my last semester of college but right now I want to quit even though I only have a month left. I just want to be done and go curl up somewhere and not move for awhile. I'm just fucking tired of who I am when I am here.

Friday, November 18, 2005

A cute cat is staring at me

Well home again. Its werid coming back. espeically when Dave comes with. Its not that anyone here minds him at all, in fac they rather like him, but it makes coming home going to my parents house which is after all supposed happen at some point. Plus I'm kinda down right now cause I just dropped Dave off at the airport to go to New York to take care of things there like moving. So I don't get to see him. I could've gone but school has prevented me so sad day. At least its only to Monday. Man I'm fucking patheic but I really don't mind. So yeah today is visiting people whom I haven't been able to in a long time day. It should be fun. Other than that I'm doing well. Oh and the cute cat in question is a grey tabby named Gizmo, who belongs to my sister.

Monday, November 14, 2005

Okay. So I promised Nicki that I would give her a link to this blog once I wrote something profound and pithy. So..... yeah.... um. Okay so profundity is not my strong point sp I'll just say what's up. I'm still here in Point and I'm in the middle of the holy shit I'm graduating and don't have a job yet portion of the semester. I have been looking ( mainly in San Francisco( come on its pretty)) and Yesterday I actually applied for two jobs that I don't have a shot in hell at getting but Hey you never know the people a cirque du soilie might be crazy enough to hire me on as an ASM. I don't really want to Stage Manage in any capicity but what the hell why not. Its work and it is in Vegas which can work for Dave to since there is a shit ton of work in that town for lighty type people. The only problem is that I can see Dave's friend Andrew occuping our couch most weekends. But hey it would be good work. If that doesn't come through, I do have a gig hopefully in May back with good old Utah Opera Festival Company. Well see.

Friday, November 11, 2005


Just a happy moment. I got two references I wanted okayed. Which means it is on to resume time. :0)

Monday, October 31, 2005

Happy Halloween

So yeah!!! Its tech week and I managed to get out of the state beforehand. ;) ANd have a good halloween. This weekend I decided to fuck resposiblity and have some fun. I've got two more months to use the exucse of well, I'm just a stupid college student and I better fucking do that. Plus after December my budget becomes far tighter. So time for 400 mile road trips to go see a band. And friends and to have 6 hours of realy good converstaion while slighly hungover. It just makes me want to be done with homework for good. To actually have a weekend with nothing hangin over my head, or in this case blithley ingore it. So here caution meet winds and have fun.

Thursday, October 27, 2005

Whoo Hoo

So after a slight mid semester dip into the doldrums, I'm now doing okay again. There are some linger effects but the one that i want linger is seeming to. I'm sick of watching life pass me by. I'm gonna live this mother fucker if it kills me. So here it goes. We'll see if it works. Who knows.

Monday, October 24, 2005

1st post (Man I'm sleepY0

So basically this has been started so that I can reply to my friends Sam and Nicki's posts. Cause you can't if you don't got one of these things. So I figure I should get one so that I can send Nicki and Sam witty replies. Well at least attempt witty replies. Well off to the Mac Lab cause even though we got a brand spanking new design lab the printer doesn't work. Some things never change.