Wednesday, December 21, 2005

The sky was the Limit/ Into the Great Wide open/ Under the skys of blue

And its over. Another life come and gone. Time to shed the skin and become the next incarnation of me.
The last time I had a life end was 2 and half years and several thousand miles ago. I cannot belive the people and the places that I have seen and the impact they have had on my life in these last couple of years. And how many of them were totally unexpected. And how greatful I am that I have had a chance to come into these peoples lives.
Many of the people that I knew here I know that I won't see again, but that's okay. I float in and out of peoples lives and that's who I am. I said my good byes and I'm floating along. Excpet for those speical occasions where I land with a thump and decide to stay. Most of you reading this know you're in the thump catagory, in fact all of you are. You don't get rid of me that easy. When I thump and like it, it is very hard to get me to move.
Oddly the strangest thing is a sense of readiness. The obligations are done and now, and now it is time to start living, how I want to. Looking at it, it is rather scary, I don't really have a plan, I'm jumping in and seeing if I can swim. For a long time this has scared me shitless and as of last Friday I'm no longer afraid. I know this is what I have to do and I'm fine. And I am ready

Saturday, December 17, 2005

Ah studying

So i'm taking a break from studying for exams (well wrting my theatre history one) and wasting time on the web. I just don't want to do this but I know that I should. Its just the last final push and then I'm done. Gone, its good i think. I've fallen in to one of my bad habits latley which is not calling people when i should. I gotta get better at this cause once I leave that's how I;m gonna keep in touch, and well with this thing. Okay rambling musing over with on to defining realism.

Friday, December 16, 2005

I'm Free, I'm Free and Freedom tastes of Reality

SO for those of who do not know the above quote is from Tommy by The Who, which if you haven't listened to you need to. Also listen to Quadrophinia at full volume if you haven't
I had my portfolio review and for the first time since I have been here, I was the one in bloody control of the damn thing. WE talked very briefly about this semester and I was able to explain to my profs that I'm good when I'm doing one thing at a time, i.e. I teched and opened 4 shows in 2 weeks this summer when the props master did not communicate well to his staff and I was no where as stressed as I have been when I am at school and dealing with one production. There comment was that I shouldn't do that in the future and my brain went, "Well duh." but instead my mouth said that I realized that and was not about to put myself in that situation again. Plus I think they were finally impressed with my work as a Props person, which is what I have sorta transformed into over the last year and a half. I still enjoy Stage management but damn it I get to play glue, spray paint, power tools and Photoshop. Also if could've been the fact that I had done seven shows since last May either as a props person or on a Stage Management team. So I was damn proud of myself. I left feeling good.
Then came the weird part, I went and got my cap, gown and tassel. It was all the sudden real. This part of my life is over, which is fine, and I realized how much I would miss the people I had met here. Now some of them have moved on ( most of you who are reading this post) but I am leaving behind some really good friends. I know I won't fall out of contact with them, the ones that really matter, I've managed to keep intouch with most of the family either through the phone or electronically. ( by the way Nicki, thanks for introducing us to the wonderful world of the blogg.)
So I'm ready for the next step. I don't know where I'm going next save the general direction, west. It will be a crazy adventure plus I have company so that will be fun, and at least one friend who is with in a thousand miles. Miss Shannon Buss is moving to Portland OR so I'll proably go and visit her when I can afford to.
So I'm now free from obligation and I'm ready to start living on my own terms. I know it won't be easy, but hey when do I ever do take the easy route.

PS. Nicki, Dave is quite real, I promise, ask Sarah, Greta, Humphery, Andy or very soon Travis. They will have met him.

Monday, December 12, 2005

One Week Left

Wow... Its werid to think that in one week my academic career will for all intents and purposes be over. For as long as I have remebered I've been a student. And now I'm on to being something else. I realize now how fucking scary this is. The one thing that has always been part of my identy is going away. After I finsh Kyle's exam I will never have to write a paper like that again. Is that the columination of all my English classes, a theatre history final that I don't really care about? Werid.
After this week is over I need to figure out the next step. I'm kind of torn about it. I know I want to go west, to go and live somewhere that I've really never been before. But I need to figure out a time plan. The thing that is complicating this is the fact that I will want to see Dave. So part of me wants to get out there asap but the other part says that I should take the time and plan and go out around the middle of January or the end. I'll have to muse it over but I'll figure it out fast. I think airing on the side of planning might be a good idea and I don't think Dave will mind too much and if he does he's gonna have to deal.
Well I need to work on my senoir, bullshit, project. Time to label the prop shop.
Chris :)

Sunday, December 04, 2005


Well I've spent y day since strike job hunting. Grrr. It just is a long process of going to website after website and trying to find where they have stuck the job postings, if they have any. Some of these bastards are really inventive where they hide them. I've found several stuck in audition info. Oh well.
Life is going along well here. THe last week has been me coming to grips that this part of my life is ending and relizing I will miss it. Even though it has driven me near crazy. I've started to slowly say goodbye to my life here and who I was.
It is time to go do something crazy and be reborn. For those of you who don't know, in a couple of weeks I will have packed my life up and headed west. I'm sure where to next, basically where I can get work until May and then if all goes according to plan, I'll be returning to Utah. But basically I am plunging into the unknowen and seeing what's there. I have faith that if nothing else it will be interesting. Wish me luck. :)