Monday, November 21, 2005

Am I just a comlpete fuck up?

So today is one of those days that I always seem to have in Stevens Point (aka, living hell). I feel like I am a complete moron. I woke up late for makeup, late enough that it was pointless to come in. So I went in to talk to Susan and got the whole what the hell is it now Chris, that I get seem to get from all my professors here. I feel like they feel that I can't do this and really as far as I am concerned there are about two things in this world that I am good at. And theatre is one of them. If they don't think I can succed out there I need to fucking know. I know that I can namely cause i get enough rest and I only have to focus on one fucking aspect of my life, work, not work and school which over the course of the last two and half years I have learned doesn't seem to work. I'm sick of feeling like the moron which is why when I'm here I apologize so fucking much. I want this to be done which is not how I wanted to feel about my last semester of college but right now I want to quit even though I only have a month left. I just want to be done and go curl up somewhere and not move for awhile. I'm just fucking tired of who I am when I am here.

2 comments:

Laura said...

Chris - who you are is a great person that I enjoy very much and I met you in Point so I know its not a problem with you. I think its a problem with the profs. No self-respecting teacher has the right to make anyone feel stupid. That's not what it's supposed to be about. Guidance is what's needed. We all have bad days, but I know you can succeed in theatre and plenty of other people know it too. Look at your resume. People who didn't beleive in you wouldn't want to be listed as references.
I think your mistake was your a mature and responsible enough student to go and talk to Susan about missing class and not just lay low and pretend it didn't happen (which is what I would have done) and she probably would have forgotten or not made it an issue.

Sorry you had a shitty day!

Zeze the X said...

*nuzzles* Purrrr.