Tuesday, May 29, 2007


For those of you who know Amadeus you know who this character is. And that's who I feel like. Some one who wants to be great but can only seem to achive medicority. Every time I turned around in the last few days something didn't work or got fucked up cause I was trying to rush. I haven't been this frustraited since I left Point. Summer stock theatre and I aren't friends. I overwork myself in the wrong way cause it seems to be the way to do things here. Not the wrong way for other people but for me since I need to stop when I first hit the point of diminshing returns and not keep plowing through and continuiously fucking up because I'm tired and feeling rushed. I can't do this to myself the next show. That being said everything is here but some needs tweaking. I need to find the balence between building and managing which I've totally negleted in order get things done. I'm fried it shows and I'm not happy even though most things are working. I managed to bulid a fucking bauble pole for fuck's sake. Its made of hula hoops jute rope and a big fucking stick and it looks like Mardi Gras vomited all over it. Which is how it should look. But I'm tired and tech starts soon. Wish me luck.


Nicki said...

Murrrr, don't be discouraged. we all feel like Salieri sometimes, but the important thing to remember is--even Mozart felt like Salieri sometimes. Also, Salieri was the court composer, while Mozart's genius was only recognised after he died. Which is nice, but it's also nice to eat. Don't stress. Take time for yourself first, and you'll be fine.

Laura said...

It sounds like you're really aware of how you work best, knowing you need to stop and regroup instead of pushing through. I know what a hard worker you are Chris (that's why you're a Ravenclaw) I know you have your next job in Alaska but maybe if you can take some time between jobs. It might do you good to take a small break from theatre when you can. Recharge your batteries.