Hustling for a living

Hey all-
I'm not sure if any of y'all are still checking this but I felt like I mind as well give everyone an update. I'm still down in Atlanta and for the most part enjoying it. Becoming a local music junkie has been a fun exprience so far but now I need to buckle back down. I know my contract is up in April and I have to start job hunting to find something for the summer. I don't know if I have the contract for next season but I'm hoepful. But at the same moment I'm trying to be prepared for the just in case moment. Its been nice being able to pay bills etc. and I would like to be able to keep doing that. I'm hoping to find summer work in town but I know that it is extremly limited. I have toyed with the idea of just getting a regular job, but I'm addict to this bussness and I'm now gearing up to send out letters and resumes again. I just wonder when I will stop having to hustle for a living. Part of me just wants a year round job, year in year out but I know how bored I get with even 9 months in one place.
I know that right now the reason I feel this way is mainly due to the fact I've hit my five month itch. I've found that I'm the most disasitfied with my life in any given place when I've been there for about 5 months. I know that once I get past this I'll be pretty happy again.
Well that's all for now. I hope y'all are doing well where ever you are. Take care. More later.
Chris

So long time no post.

Hi all-
I just realized that its been forever since you all heard from me. My life has been a little crazy but it has finally settled down and I'm settling into my thrid town this year. I now live in Atlanta and I find myself falling in love with the city and with the neighborhood I now live in. I'm working for the Alliance theatre and I'm still a little overwhelmed by the rescourcres available to me. Its been an interesting first couple of weeks. My boss and I are learning how to communicate and that has proven to be a little frustrating. Mainly this is due to the fact that Kathleen ( my boss in Alaska) and I were able to figure this out really fast and that Nik (my boss in Utah) and I had worked together for a couple of summers and knew what the other wanted. So now with Robert, my new boss, I'm really being forced to listen and take a lot more notes. We're both working on this and I have faith we'll have a system figured out soon. He's a nice guy, I just need to be patient to not interrupt him when he's pausing. But still my co-workers in the props shop are pretty great and I get along well with most of the carpenters. All in all I like my job and I like being able to pay my bills.

My apartment is in this neighborhood between two really great neighborhood, the Virgina Highlands and Little Five Points. For those of you who know Milwaukee, the Virgina Highlands are like a less pretentious version of Wauwatosa ( shesh I see why everyone just writes Tosa) and Little Five Points is like the East Side between Brady Street and North Ave. And for those of you more familiar with Chicago, Virginia Highlands is like Evanston and Little Five Points is like the area around Clark and Belmont. My place is within an easy walk to 7 restaurants, a Grocery Store, A coffee shop (where I'm writing this), 3 bars and some good shopping oh and a great independent Video rental place. So there enough stuff that I can walk to that my car ( sadly not Fred, she's a blue Neon and I think her name is Vivian) can sit happily on the street not costing me tons in gas money. All in all I like here and I think I'll be happy to call this place home.

leaving

This just sums it up better than I could. Its fits packing up a life.

"If I Ever Leave This World Alive"

If I ever leave this world alive
I'll thank for all the things you did in my life
If I ever leave this world alive
I'll come back down and sit beside your
feet tonight
Wherever I am you'll always be
More than just a memory
If I ever leave this world alive

If I ever leave this world alive
I'll take on all the sadness
That I left behind
If I ever leave this world alive
The madness that you feel will soon subside
So in a word don't shed a tear
I'll be here when it all gets weird
If I ever leave this world alive

So when in doubt just call my name
Just before you go insane
If I ever leave this world
Hey I may never leave this world
But if I ever leave this world alive

She says I'm okay; I'm alright,
Though you have gone from my life
You said that it would,
Now everything should be all right

She says I'm okay; I'm alright,
Though you have gone from my life
You said that it would,
Now everything should be all right
Yeah should be alright

The Northern Lights or Why I'm in Love

There is something soo indescribable about the Northern Lights. After watching them tonight I find that words fail me and that as I watched them I had no frame of reference to place them in. They were beautiful, unworldly, awe inspiring and amazing. And that fail to strach the surface. To truly begin to understand them, you have to see them. And I think that sums up this place. Now that the light has returned I have never been so greatful to be somewhere in the morning. Its a town that gentlely sucks you. One moment your an outsider and the next you know half the people on the street. And presents you with the weridest friendliest assortment of oddballs you've ever met. The utter lack of pretense is amazing. There is something to be said for a town where shit brown rain boots (xtra-tuffs) are considered acceptable with formal wear. Trust me you see it. Its a place where people are who they are and if you don't like it well then tough shit. And its a place that slowly changes you. It is a place that I will leave with a heavy heart, but I'll be back and it'll be like coming home.

Break... I was going to take a break?

Well my life is topsy tuvry as always. Just when I thought a break was a good idea, I changed my mind. I'm going to Utah this summer, which will be good. As much as there are things that annoy me about that place at least I'm kept out of the adminstrative bullshit. I make props. That's it. I don't have to concerned about other things there. THey understand I'm contract labor and though I care about the place I'm not asked on how to solve problems that are quite frankly way over my head, or to help put in place plans for after I've left. Its understood that I will leave in August and maybe I'll come back and maybe I won't. And I appricate that.

I'm also going to be sending out stuff for some upcoming jobs that I can't pass up. 2 of them are full time with benifits and one is 3/4 time but is at a University. All are for Artisans. I've never seen this many props jobs that are full time open up at once. Maybe, maybe next year I can finally start to realize my dream of making a nest at a regional theatre.

But then of course to complicate my plans, I've decided I want to go to grad school. Since I want to major in props, there are really only 4 choices: University of Delaware, North Carolina School of the Arts, CalArts and the Royal Academy of Dramatic Arts. Hmmmmm... which one does Chris want to go to? The one that is of course the furthest from home and the most expensive, the Royal Academy of Dramatic Arts. I need to do more research into the program but it would allow me to live in London again. Plus I need to see if I can find the money. I'm not planning on this happening for several years if at all but it gives me something to strive for. I've been looking for that long term goal for awhile now, and this seems to fit in away that finding a steady job just doesn't. As always we'll see what happens.

Change of Pace

Things are well things. Which means things are alturnatly euphoric and intensly frustrating. And I find myself asking if I should even be in this field. I'm okay at my job, but not exceptional, not great. I'm passable, okay. But not great. I'm not even sure if I'm good. And I keep moving and I'm becoming sick of it. I want to stay put. But I am also questioning if this is what I should be doing with my life and if it is not then it begs the question, what the hell I should be doing with my life. And it makes me ask what am I good at. And in the end I don't know. I don't think I'll be leaving theatre perminantly, but I do feel I need the break. At least now during all the chaos.

Vindictive Bitchness or how to get even with out even trying

So today I found out one of my roommates loathes me. How may you ask. The wonders of the Internet. My Space bulletins to specific. Obviously he wants me to know but lacks the testicular fortitude to tell me. And at first it hurt. A lot. And then I got angry and then I laughed my ass off. Because the thing he apparently loathes is me. As a human being. My attitude, my way of dealing with world everything.

Apparently he thinks the opposite of like is dislike. Which in my experience is not true. Apathy or ambivalence is the opposite liking someone. Because you can't affect them at all. He handed me a whole shit ton of power with the knowledge that I don't even need to be present to drive him nuts. And honestly save today I really don't think about him that much. Yes I would've liked to get to know him as we live together, but that is mainly because we live together. Not any other reason. But now, now I can get out all of the sheer bitchiness that I've spent this summer storing up. And the best part is I don't even have to try. I just have to be present and say good morning. And sit back and know it drives him up a fucking wall. And the best part is that he doesn't expect this. In fact he'll expect that I'll try harder now that I know he dislikes me intensely. The funny part is that he thinks I'm sad and pathetic. But really I find it sad and pathetic that he blogged about the fact that I drive him nuts. Twice.

If your miserable don't blame me sweetie. I'm not responsible for your misery. You are and guess what, me being here and myself does not take the onus off of you to change your situation. Unless you enjoy being miserable. Which if you do that might take some of the fun out of this. Yes the fact that we aren't chums would bother me occasionally but not enough to write about it or dwell on it. Until now. Until you handed me a way to vent a few things with giving anyone else a reason to be pissed at me, or lifting a damn finger.

And I'm just going to sit on the couch watching my presence drive him insane and laugh. Because I get to enjoy being bitchy with out a. having to put forth effort, and b. feeling guilty. Is this a little passive aggressive, you bet your sweet ass it is, but I learned at the masters knee this summer.

So I get an outlet and he goes nuts. Which let's face it is what the vengeful bitch in me wants. And really I don't feel a strong compulsion to keep her in. Maybe on short lease otherwise his laundry may ended up in the creek behind our house. Under the ice.

Yes I know this is an uglier side to me. But I refuse to change. And I'm not going to feel bad about sitting in my living room. So I might as well enjoy it.